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Band 5.5

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

#people #second #language #country
One
 school of thought holds that living in native countries is the best way to acquire their languages.
While
 I accept
this
 perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are other important factors that contribute to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 a second
language
. On the
one
 hand, it is understandable why a new
language
 could be learnt faster in countries where it is used.
One
 and foremost, it could provide a practising environment. In fact,
language
 learners could interact with native speakers,
such
 as teachers, co-workers, or their neighbours, which could improve their speaking and
lisntening
Correct your spelling
listening
 skills.
Furthermore
, moving to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
 might stimulate the learning passion of beginners.
For example
, foreigners could
exploring
Change the verb form
explore
be exploring
show examples
 historic stories and attractions
as well as
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 and
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 more about the nation's
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
, which could enhance their passion and desire to develop their
language
 abilities.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that other vital elements could
contribure
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
 a new
language
.
One
 rationale is that the Internet could provide convenient classes. To be more specific, by using smart devices that
connected
Add a missing verb
are connected
show examples
 to the Internet,
such
 as laptops, smartphones, or tablets,
language
 students could easily learn and practise anywhere with a flexible schedule. Another justification is that not everyone has enough budget to live in a foreign country.
For instance
, the cost of travelling tickets, accommodation, and daily expenses can be a huge amount of money, which could not only
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 studying abroad
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 for many students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 no longer the most effective method. Meanwhile,
language
 novels could find numerous quality
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 which be taught by native teachers with reasonable and suitable fees in their places. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that residing in
native
Correct article usage
a native
show examples
 speaker could
efficient
Change the adjective
efficiently
show examples
 gain knowledge of a new
language
 quickly, I would contend that there are other factors
bring
Correct pronoun usage
that bring
show examples
 values equally.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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accuracy
Ensure correct spelling and grammar throughout the essay. Missteps like 'lisntening' for 'listening' and 'contribure' for 'contribute' can disrupt the flow for the reader.
style
Add more variety in sentence structures to avoid repetition and to enhance readability.
coherence
Strengthen the conclusion to provide a more compelling summary of the key points. Restate your main arguments and briefly explain why you believe both factors are important.
focus
Good job presenting clear, comprehensive ideas. You maintained a strong focus on the topic throughout.
evidence
Effective use of specific examples, like the mention of Internet classes and budget constraints, which added relevance to your arguments.
structure
Well-organized paragraphs which made your essay easy to follow. You presented both sides of the argument clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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