Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

sportsmen
are amongst the most famous
people
in society and others follow their lifestyles. some
people
believe that some
youngsters
find their
life
way by imitating
sportsmen
’s lifestyles and athletes could have a positive model in their lives.
however
, another group does not agree and asserts that
sportsmen
could have dire impacts on the youth both during their sports activities and
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
. the essay will discuss both sides and reach a conclusion. The proponents of the positive influence of athletes claim that
sportsmen
have a significant role in society and as the public desires to have the same activities
youngsters
will choose them as good role models for their lives. All those who do sports seriously have a healthy lifestyle as it is the basis for achieving success which is significant for youth,
for example
, we have
people
like Ali Daee, who reached a high level of lifestyle.
Furthermore
, professional athletes mostly are distinctive from other team members and they have leadership power, they can influence the youth
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
their character and leadership skills and train them to become more responsible. On the one hand, another group does not agree with
this
argument since those believe someone who follows sport as a job, might have a different lifestyle which could be undesirable, an example of
this
reason is the famous football Maradona that off the field of the match had a separate
life
full of disintegration which could mislead many
youngsters
to use drugs and become addicted.
In addition
, famous
sportsmen
may show misdeeds on or off the field which are attractive to those who are very young or inexperienced so they imitate them which ruin
youngsters
'
life
. In conclusion, it is logical to claim that athletic personalities may have dark sides which could affect young
people
’s
life
however
some
people
believe they have skills that make them good role models.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on developing a clearer and stronger introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the introduction sets the tone and clearly outlines the essay's path, while the conclusion effectively sums up the arguments presented, without introducing new information.
logical structure
Strengthen the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas more effectively. Paragraphs should have clear central ideas with supporting sentences that expand on the main points consistently. Use of linking words and appropriate paragraphing will enhance readability.
supported main points
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. Examples should be clearly related to the point being made and work to reinforce your perspective. Avoid vague references and ensure that the examples add value to your discussion.
complete response
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You should discuss both views and give your own clear opinion, making sure to provide sufficient explanation for your position. Expand on the ideas presented and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive discussion of the topic. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, which is then elaborated with explanations and examples. Use a range of vocabulary and structures to convey your ideas effectively.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to better illustrate your points. Examples are most effective when they are directly related to the argument you are trying to make and are well explained within the context of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!