The bar chart shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household devices. Write a 150-word report for a university lecturer explaining the data and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household devices. Write a 150-word report for a university lecturer explaining the data and making comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart introduces
energy
usage(
kwh
/
year
) and
its
Change the word
the
show examples
expenses per
year
(in
dollars
) of numerous technology
devices
.
Overall
, Spa workers and users
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
electrical
devices
more than any other arrangement.
Whereas
, the least consumed
energy
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
to the Electric Blankets. Making deeper research,
eletctric
Correct your spelling
electric
blankets, microwave
oven
Fix the agreement mistake
ovens
show examples
and
televison
Correct your spelling
television
appliance uses no more than 250
kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
kW
and about 15
dollars
per
year
. Despite
this
, each other everyday mechanisms
expends
Verb problem
spend
show examples
approxiametly
Correct your spelling
approximately
1000
kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
and 83
dollars
per
year
.
Although
, Pool Pump consumes 125 $ and 1500
kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
per
year
.
While
its following, spa technology appliance - pump and heater- uses more than 2000
kwh
Correct your spelling
kWh
and over 180 $ per
year
. In summary, the bar chart illustrates the
energy
usage (
kWh
/
year
) and corresponding expenses (in
dollars
) of various technology
devices
. Among all the arrangements, spa workers and users utilize electrical
devices
the most,
while
electric blankets consume the least amount of
energy
.
Submitted by rashadyus10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, kwh, year, dollars, devices with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: