IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart illustrates the percentage of British people spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
charity
Use synonyms
 based on their age within a period of 20 years, commencing from 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
,the highest rate of age for giving
money
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 to
charity
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 can be observed from 36 to 50 in 1990
while
Linking Words
 the opposite can be seen for 18-25 in 2010. At the beginning of the period, the percentage of 18-25 was over 15% in 1990
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number increased moderately to get to 42 per cent for ages f36-50.
moreover
Linking Words
, for the other two categories from 51 to above 65 can be seen the same amount above 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1990 and
this
Linking Words
figures
Change the determiner
figure
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 was nearly 38 per cent in 2010. In 1990, those aged
from
Change preposition
apply
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18-50 had more tendency to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
charity
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 in comparison with 2010.
Although
Linking Words
 the lowest rate of spending
money
Use synonyms
 in 2010 can be seen from 18 to 25, the highest rate of giving
money
Use synonyms
 to
charity
Use synonyms
 can be in 51-65age.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, charity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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