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Writing Samples /
Band 3

In most countries disabled people are not catered for adequately, e.g. buildings are often inappropriately designed. Governments rely too heavily on charities and voluntary organizations to provide assistance and funding. What further measures could be taken to assist disabled people. Discuss.

#countries #people #e #g #buildings #governments #charities #organizations #assistance #measures
In my opinion,
Govrement
Correct your spelling
Government
 can make the street more
propriat
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appropriate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
For example
: they can put
for
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apply
show examples
blind
people
the
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on the
show examples
 road with their
languageon
Correct your spelling
language
language on
 on the ground , and make the
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 light with sound so they can hear it. They can walk easily without help and feel more confident in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 self. In
adition
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addition
, make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car parking
infornt
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in front
 of
store
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the store
show examples
 especially for disabled
people
. 
Also
,
Buliding
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Building
 must be suitable for them , the steers or
elevater
Correct your spelling
elevators
. In point of my view,
its
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it
show examples
 be amazing if there in every district a person who
know
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knows
show examples
 the hand's language to help deaf
people
 in what they
needs
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need
show examples
. For the funds and gaining
mone
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money
show examples
, there is some way that will help.
First,
make
event
Add an article
an event
show examples
 where
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 or disabled
people
espically
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especially
typically
 sell things and gain profit for the government .second thing which is good for
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the comunity
show examples
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
, if they
asks
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ask
show examples
school
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schools
show examples
 and universit to bring
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and parents and teachers to volunteer
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has many advantages. Students and parents spend time together and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 learn to help others without waiting any
thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 in charge. And all the work is done. Third ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can ask
company
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companies
show examples
 or
busincess
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business
people
 to help or do
Correct article usage
a corbration
show examples
corbration
Correct your spelling
celebration
 with them.
Submitted by ananalmahyawi on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay to include a clear introduction and conclusion. This will help frame your arguments and provide a logical structure to your essay.
task achievement
Expand on each point you make with more detailed explanations and examples. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. For instance, 'Govrement' should be 'government', 'propriat' should be 'appropriate', and 'traffic' instead of 'trafic'. Small errors can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'moreover', and 'furthermore' to connect your ideas and create a smoother flow throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains several specific suggestions for how to assist disabled people, such as sound-enabled traffic lights, reserved parking spaces, and suitable building designs.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is a clear focus on practical measures that can be taken by the government to assist disabled people, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adequately cater
  • inappropriately designed
  • stricter building regulations
  • accessible
  • ramps
  • elevators
  • tactile guidance paths
  • allocated
  • disability services
  • tax incentives
  • public awareness campaigns
  • rights and capabilities
  • reduce stigma
  • promote inclusivity
  • robust policies
  • equal access
  • government body
  • overseeing
  • accessibility standards
  • assistive technologies
  • subsidizing
  • communication devices
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