some people believe that schools should teach students how to fight and physically defend themselves while others think it causes many problems for the youth. what is your opinion?
while
a group of people think is better to children learn how fight
back in schools and keep themselves in every fight Add the particle
to fight
other
group Change the wording
another
is
not Verb problem
does
believed
that, Wrong verb form
believe
also
they think learning them to battle have
a lot of bad Correct subject-verb agreement
has
effect
on them I agree with the second group and I think it can be harmful Fix the agreement mistake
effects
for
them in some ways.
Change the preposition
to
childs in
ages 7 to 14 are in the most Correct your spelling
Children
imprtant yaers
of their Correct your spelling
important years
life
and everything they learn have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
effect
on their Add an article
an effect
life
when they were
adults. Wrong verb form
are
Educational
system is so Add an article
The educational
nessecary
for children Correct your spelling
necessary
behave
they are blank Fix the infinitive
to behave
canvas
and Fix the agreement mistake
canvases
this
system is painting on them. Everythings
they learn in these years can make their personality Fix the agreement mistake
Everything
on
their future, so if they learn how to Change preposition
in
figh
in these Correct your spelling
fight
fish
time
of Fix the agreement mistake
times
theire
Correct your spelling
their
life
it may happen on
their reality Change preposition
in
life
many yaers
after. There is a research in Cambdrige Correct your spelling
years
university
in England and the researchers find that children who were growing Capitalize word
University
in
friendly places have Change preposition
up in
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
comunity
than the the Correct your spelling
community
childs
who were Correct your spelling
children
growed on
war Verb problem
growing up in
ereas
.
Giving them a mindset of Correct your spelling
areas
Correct article usage
a specefic
specefic
situation can shut their Correct your spelling
specific
ayes
Correct your spelling
eyes
on
another thing. If we tell them always have to Change preposition
to
waite
for an attack would Correct your spelling
wait
fixed
their mind in insecurity and Change the verb form
fix
be fixed
this
make them anxios
for all of their Correct your spelling
anxious
life time
. There is a fact that our mindset Correct your spelling
lifetime
make
our Change the verb form
makes
apportunity
of Correct your spelling
opportunity
life
and if they always wanted to be surrvive
when they are going to Correct your spelling
survive
enjoye
of their Correct your spelling
enjoy
life
. So make
them Wrong verb form
making
pereception
of Correct your spelling
perception
perceptions
save
themselves can`t help them.
So Wrong verb form
saving
eventualy
I believe as I said there is no need to Correct your spelling
eventually
preaper childs
for Correct your spelling
prepare children
esstresful
Correct your spelling
stressful
situaition
, we have to let them be happy with their friend and Correct your spelling
situation
situations
learn
them how can find friends more.Verb problem
teach
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coherence cohesion
To improve your essay, consider providing more structured arguments with clear main points. Each paragraph should discuss a single idea or argument in detail.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate transitional phrases and logical connectors to enhance the flow of your essay. This will ensure that your arguments are more cohesively connected.
task achievement
Make sure that each of your points are clearly supported by relevant examples or evidence. This can help in making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
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Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve the structure of sentences. This will make your essay clearer and more professional.
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You have expressed a clear opinion and have made an effort to provide reasons and examples to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is a good practice for structuring your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.