Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

#people #matter #sportsman #sportswoman #misbehaves #field

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In today's society, people are increasingly aware of the importance of a healthy lifestyle and engaging in sportsHowevereven professional

athletes

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who excel in their respective

sports

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sometimes display misbehaviour both on and off the field. Currently, there is a debate regarding whether

such

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misbehaviour is acceptable or not. From my perspective, I believe it is not acceptable, and I will outline several reasons to support

this

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viewpoint. First and foremost, professional

athletes

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often serve as role models for their fans, loved ones, and especially children, who may emulate their behaviours.

Sports

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figures hold significant influence over the younger generation, and as

such

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they should be mindful of their actions both during and outside of

sports

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events. It is essential for them to avoid engaging in inappropriate behaviours that could negatively impact their admirers.

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Furthermore

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Furthermore,

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long-term displays of inappropriate behaviour by

athletes

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can lead to confusion among the younger generation regarding what is considered right or wrong. These behaviours may contribute to a sense of moral ambiguity, causing distress and uncertainty for those who are still learning about the values and principles that guide our society.

Furthermore

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Moreover

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when professionals consistently engage in misbehaviour, it not only affects their own reputation but

also

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casts a shadow on the entire

sports

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community . The actions of a few Individuals can tarnish the image

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

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athletes

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the athletes

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and create a negative perception among the public

This

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, in turn , may undermine the respect and admiration that other

profession

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professions

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have rightfully earned through their decisions and exemplary conduct . In conclusion , there is no

dought

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doubt

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that unsatisfying behaviour would lead to a negative impact on the

sports

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sphere.

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However

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However,

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recognising the importance of mental training among sportsmen it is advisable to encourage team members to be more adaptive .

Submitted by oshin.ambekar5 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay needs a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction. The lack of clarity might confuse the reader about the exact stance being taken.

coherence cohesion

Some points are repeated or redundant. Consider integrating these ideas for more concise and impactful arguments.

task achievement

Examples used to support the points are very generalized. Using more specific and detailed examples would strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and lacks depth; consider summarizing key points and restating the thesis in a more comprehensive manner.

coherence cohesion

There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentences throughout the essay. Proofreading would help to identify and correct these errors, improving the overall readability of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses a relevant and contemporary issue, demonstrating awareness of societal concerns regarding the conduct of professional athletes.

task achievement

The essay offers a clear perspective on the issue and supports it with multiple arguments, illustrating a well-thought-out approach.

task achievement

The essay mentions the significance of role models, moral ambiguity, and the broader impact on the sports community, indicating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
influence
integrity
tarnish
reputation
consequences
inappropriate actions
morale
unity
negative environment
sponsorship
brand image
ethical considerations
athletic performance
respect
fairness
values
behavior
impact
public attitudes

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Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your local bookshop has invited members of the public to recommend a guest speaker for an upcoming event that will include a series of talks from well-known people.