Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?
In today's society, people are increasingly aware of the importance of a healthy lifestyle and engaging in sportsHowevereven professional
athletes
who excel in their respective sports
sometimes display misbehaviour both on and off the field. Currently, there is a debate regarding whether such
misbehaviour is acceptable or not. From my perspective, I believe it is not acceptable, and I will outline several reasons to support this
viewpoint.
First and foremost, professional athletes
often serve as role models for their fans, loved ones, and especially children, who may emulate their behaviours. Sports
figures hold significant influence over the younger generation, and as such
they should be mindful of their actions both during and outside of sports
events. It is essential for them to avoid engaging in inappropriate behaviours that could negatively impact their admirers.
Furthermore
long-term displays of inappropriate behaviour by Add a comma
Furthermore,
athletes
can lead to confusion among the younger generation regarding what is considered right or wrong. These behaviours may contribute to a sense of moral ambiguity, causing distress and uncertainty for those who are still learning about the values and principles that guide our society. Furthermore
Moreover
when professionals consistently engage in misbehaviour, it not only affects their own reputation but also
casts a shadow on the entire sports
community . The actions of a few Individuals can tarnish the image all
of Correct determiner usage
apply
athletes
and create a negative perception among the public Add an article
the athletes
This
, in turn , may undermine the respect and admiration that other profession
have rightfully earned through their decisions and exemplary conduct .
In conclusion , there is no Change the wording
professions
dought
that unsatisfying behaviour would lead to a negative
impact on the Correct your spelling
doubt
sports
sphere. However
recognising the importance of mental training among
sportsmen it is advisable to encourage team members to be more adaptive
.Add a comma
However,
Submitted by oshin.ambekar5 on
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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction. The lack of clarity might confuse the reader about the exact stance being taken.
coherence cohesion
Some points are repeated or redundant. Consider integrating these ideas for more concise and impactful arguments.
task achievement
Examples used to support the points are very generalized. Using more specific and detailed examples would strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and lacks depth; consider summarizing key points and restating the thesis in a more comprehensive manner.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentences throughout the essay. Proofreading would help to identify and correct these errors, improving the overall readability of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant and contemporary issue, demonstrating awareness of societal concerns regarding the conduct of professional athletes.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear perspective on the issue and supports it with multiple arguments, illustrating a well-thought-out approach.
task achievement
The essay mentions the significance of role models, moral ambiguity, and the broader impact on the sports community, indicating a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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