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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows type of media to get daily news, by age group 2011

The bar chart shows type of media to get daily news, by age group 2011
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The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in five different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 three approaches to updating everyday
news
Use synonyms
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that as
people
Use synonyms
 got older,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 preferred to use
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of social networking. It should
also
Linking Words
 be noted how microblogging was the platform with the least use of getting
news
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 chose social
netwoking
Correct your spelling
networking
 as a platform for
news
Use synonyms
. Beginning with two types of
media
Use synonyms
 which saw a big number of users. As for
radio
Use synonyms
 , more than 90% of
people
Use synonyms
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 18 to 29 read
news
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
 platform
whereas
Linking Words
 those who were between 10 and 17 accounted for only 40%. As getting older, there was a decrease in
people
Use synonyms
 using
radio
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of
media
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 in favour
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30 to 65 or over. In terms of social networking, even though there was roughly 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 10 to 29 preferred using it,
this
Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
 was less utilized by older
people
Use synonyms
 with 50% and under 50% of
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30 to 65 and over. Turning to the remaining
media
Use synonyms
 with the least favourite,
miroblogging
Correct your spelling
microblogging
 was preferred most by
people
Use synonyms
 aged 18- 29 ( nearly 30%), but there was only 20% or less of
people
Use synonyms
 in other
age
Use synonyms
 groups chose
radio
Use synonyms
 as a type of
media
Use synonyms
 for getting everyday
news
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, news, radio, media with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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