IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days some
people
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 think that the increasing
use
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 of mobile phones
also
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 computers in
contact
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 has negative effects on young
people
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’s reading and writing skills
This
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 essay will discuss both sides will draw my personal conclusion On the one hand some
people
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 believe that the increasing
use
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 of mobile phones
then
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 computers in communication has negative effects on young
people
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 are writing
also
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 reading skills
this
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 very important now
as well as
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 computers and mobile phones in important
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 now years
then
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 so the
computer
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 many
people
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use
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 and many
people
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use
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 the
phone
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 so any person need the writing and mobile
phone
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for example
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 many
people
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 can work in
computer
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in addition
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 some
people
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 uses the mobile
phone
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 in free time and can
people
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 reading in any application so that damage on speaking because
people
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 any time messages in
phone
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 and don not need speaking so speaking is important of
contact
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 in live
then
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 again that On
while
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 other hand,
however
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, some
people
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 disagree that for many reasons one of many and
firstly
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 that helps
people
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 on
contact
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 the internet so
people
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 can give messages at any time and
contact
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people
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 in any place
as well as
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 that communication is very easy
furthermore
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this
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 makes evolution in reading and writing
for instance
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people
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 can study any language in
computer
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 In conclusion, after looking the both points
view
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of view
show examples
, I believe the
contact
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in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the
computer
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for example
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 I study English on my
computer
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 and my
phone
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 so I disagree that

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introduction
Make a clear introduction and thesis statement to present the main idea of your essay clearly. Stating both the argument and what you will discuss helps the reader understand your position better.
coherence
Enhance the coherence between sentences and paragraphs. Connectives and transitional phrases guide the reader through your arguments and make your essay easier to follow.
support
Provide specific examples and explanations for each point you present. This illustrates your arguments well and strengthens your essay.
conclusion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed and restates your position clearly. It will leave a strong impression of your essay on the reader.
content
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is good for comprehensive coverage of the topic.
conclusion
The essay strives to present a personal conclusion, which shows your opinion on the matter discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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