Some people believe that technology is making us less sociable. Do you agree or disagree?

In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.In my
opinion
,
tech
is bad. It makes us less talking. When we
use
phones
, we do not talk with
people
. We stay alone and do not meet.
This
is bad for us. We need to talk and meet.
Tech
makes us lazy and we do not
move
. We need to
move
and do
things
.
Tech
makes us not think. We just watch and do what it says.
This
bad. So, I think
tech
is not good. We should not
use
it.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
I can see that you are trying to express your opinion about technology making us less sociable. However, to achieve a higher score, you need to develop your ideas further. Try to expand on your points by giving examples and explaining why technology affects social interaction negatively.
coherence and cohesion
Working on your introduction and conclusion will also help improve your essay. A proper introduction should introduce the topic and outline your main points. The conclusion should summarize your main arguments and restate your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay logically. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea that is developed with supporting details. Using logical connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay clearly expresses a strong opinion, which is good for the task. You are able to communicate your message, even with simple language.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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