In some places old age is value,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #value #cultures #youth

It is believed that some

religion

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religions

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value old

people

whereas

different cultures state that

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

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generation is the priority.

This

author

agree

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

younger

people

should be prior more than older

people

and will demonstrate why throughout the essay. Specifically, most of the workforce

mowadays

Correct your spelling

nowadays

are young workers.As young

people

are usually more healthy and

activer

Correct your spelling

active

,many cultures throughout the world admire their skills and passion.

Therefore

, youngsters help benefit the country they

served

Wrong verb form

serve

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and build a better living environment.

However

, when most youngsters are immature and inexperienced,they tend to symbolize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rhe

Correct your spelling

the

fragile innocent of society.

Subsequently

, wiser elderly

people

in some of the

country

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countries

show examples

are looked up to by many individuals.They give advice and lead the young generation to a better lifestyle.It is

also

believed that the affection elderly

people

get in their retirement is for their dedication and hard work during their youth.

To sum up

while

older

people

tend to be more

Correct your spelling

experienced

show examples

experiences

Correct your spelling

experienced

show examples

and worth the affection more than younger

people

, it is undeniable that the young generation is

also

being valued as they are the main

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

work force

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workforce

show examples

of their country

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question. Although you discussed both views, the explanation and development of these ideas could be more thorough.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Currently, the examples provided lack specificity and depth, which can weaken your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the transitions between your points to create a more logical flow in your essay. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

general english

Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors as they can affect the clarity of your writing. For example, 'mowadays' should be 'nowadays,' and 'rhe' should be 'the.'

general english

Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.

task achievement

You provided clear opinions and stated your position effectively in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps with overall readability and structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

183 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some places old age is value,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing hugh school and starting university studies. Discuss advantages and disadvantahes and give your opinion

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determinaton. While others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that economic progress is the only factor that can be used to measure a country’s success. Some others argue that there are some other factors. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.