Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary societies,
according to
the dominance of advanced
computers
in intelligence compared to humans, there has been a belief that
this
will bring about positive changes,
while
others are concerned about the blurry future of humans.
This
essay firmly believes that it is
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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for human civilization on account of job displacement and loss of social relationships, despite those who assume that the quality of life could be improved. It is essential to acknowledge that the more advanced technologies are applied to communities, the more
people
are unemployed.
In other words
, innovations,
such
as
computers
, can control and manage the work with extreme accuracy and speed.
Furthermore
, with too much dependency on
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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,
people
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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logical thinking and practical experience, leading to an increase in unemployment rates.
As a consequence
, futuristic
computers
will replace the excessive number of
people
who lack professional skills and work ineffectively, contributing to many social tensions. Take the USA as a pertinent example, where almost 80% of production is based on automation lines, replacing
the
Change the article
a
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large number of employees. Some critics,
however
, presume that by paralleling the development of
computers
, living conditions would be enhanced. They believe that in terms of society, high-tech
computers
can not only support
people
to make
profit
Add an article
a profit
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by utilizing them as automated managers, but they will
also
become the solutions for many social tensions and global issues,
such
as the
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
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gap or climate change.
This
point has credibility, yet the more popular
computers
will be in the future, the more dependent
people
will be, leading to a reduction in human intelligence and creativity. In
this
situation, communities will disappear and be replaced by robotic dominance. From
this
writer’s perspective, social interaction is becoming wider and wider
as a result
of the introduction of high-tech mechanics, and more specifically,
computers
.
This
is because,
due to
the convenience of
forum
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forums
show examples
or chatting apps
such
as Messenger or Facebook,
people
, especially young generations, will use them to have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online-based
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
, contributing to the loss of communicative skills and self-confidence. With
this
in mind, many young
people
who are introverts will definitely spend their time on
computers
to confidently express ideas and concepts, resulting in the forgetfulness of their mother tongue and natural accent.
Hence
, a more intelligent future computer can break down human relationships and other practical skills.
Thus
, the possible impact of occupation replacement and the lack of communal interaction need to be considered.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that it is
unfavorable
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unfavourable
show examples
for humans to develop the level of
computers
without any consideration of controlling them.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, but there are areas that need more specific examples and details to support your points better. For instance, more concrete examples related to job displacement and social relationship issues could strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next, and consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensure each main idea is distinctly developed in separate paragraphs for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by discussing both sides of the argument and giving your own opinion.
task achievement
You have presented some relevant examples and explanations, which support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • cognitive capabilities
  • technological singularity
  • ethical standards
  • regulatory frameworks
  • personalized services
  • erosion of privacy
  • misuse of AI
  • stringent
  • mitigate
  • advancements
  • dependency
  • efficiently
  • complex problems
  • quality of life
  • significant
  • intelligent AI
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