IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
It is said that there are more people who require things
such
 as goods or services immediately.
This
 phenomenon might come from the fast-paced lifestyle. From my own experience, I can estimate that
this
 trend will have a positive impact on human titles. These demands will partly contribute to the development of service. Service helps people with saving their time. It can be seen that there are many exchanges appearing on the Internet with the demand of having something in a short time
instead
 of going directly to the shop.
For example
, Amazon is a website which provides delivery for users all over the world with a wide range of products which will save them time.
Thus
, many similar companies have started to evolve their delivery section which has led to the sales of service increasing dramatically in recent years.
Moreover
, it
also
 drives the enhancement of science about new inventions. The revolution of artificial intelligence started when scientists could invent a wide range of robots with many utilizations. Many people have their own houses equipped with high-tech devices
such
 as robot vacuum cleaners or automatic systems around their houses.
As a result
, the pace at which they can approach news will be faster whenever they are staying at home. In conclusion,
this
 desire of humans can lead to a better world for the next generations
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
increase productivity and economic growth and help many entrepreneurs
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expand their businesses.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response addresses the task adequately, but there are some areas where you can improve. Specifically, your essay could benefit from a clearer explanation of why this trend for wanting things instantly is happening. Expanding on the reasons beyond just a 'fast-paced lifestyle' would add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay are generally good, but the logical structure could be improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, you could improve the flow between the second and third paragraphs to make the link between technological advancement and the fast-paced lifestyle more explicit.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are appropriate and encapsulate the main points of your essay effectively. This provides a clear framework for the reader.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples, such as Amazon and artificial intelligence, which make your arguments more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. You've covered multiple facets of the topic, such as the impact on the service industry and technological advancements.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!