successful sports profesionals can earn a great deal more money than people in the other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#sports #profesionals #money #people #professions

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The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Sports professionals have long and demanding days of training and food

restrictitions

Correct your spelling

restrictions

which are reflected a short term physical injuries,

due to

Linking Words

physical wear

tear

Correct word choice

and tear

show examples

, some people think that

hight

Correct your spelling

high

show examples

salaries

Use synonyms

for athletes

conmmesurate

Correct your spelling

commensurate

with their efforts,

while

Linking Words

others hold of view that

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

unfair, because there are others

importants

Correct your spelling

important

carriers for society. I shall

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

explain my perspective

analizing

Correct your spelling

analysing

each opinion in

this

Linking Words

essay.

however

Linking Words

, there are

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

careers long duration, that have great

invesments

Correct your spelling

investments

investment

of money for parents and students,

Therefore

Linking Words

once they finish it is very difficult to find work or they can even work with low

salaries

Use synonyms

, in that case, many people believe that

this

Linking Words

is unfair for the majority of professionals.

For example

Linking Words

, archaeological investigations with budgets that are too low that force the project to end. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

salaries

Use synonyms

should be equal,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

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I believe that the athlete should earn more money for their injuries and physical activity. It is important

highlight

Add the particle

to highlight

show examples

that since childhood High-performance are subject to demanding training to earn an important place in the sport, they can be recognized in the future so that a sponsor can help them.

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

took many years of practice and dedication to be

reconaize

Correct your spelling

recognised

, as far as a few

athleths recieve

Correct your spelling

athletes receive

large sums of money

thus

Linking Words

in the future muscle problems,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

which force a quit

Change preposition

at a

show examples

Change the article

show examples

early age.

For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

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the soccers gain fame at the cost of their health.

To sum up

Linking Words

althoungh

Correct your spelling

although

there are careers that

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

deserve fair

salaries

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

study time, I find that

pay

Correct article usage

the pay

show examples

of athletes is suitable for their preparation.

Submitted by dannyrrng33 on Mon Jun 03 2024

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coherence

Work on maintaining a clearer logical structure. Some points seem disconnected, and transitioning between ideas more smoothly can help. Using linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences would improve this aspect.

language

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay, which can be distracting. Focus on sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability.

task

Consider providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This would make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.

coherence

The conclusion is present and it summarizes the main points well.

task

The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides an opinion, which fulfills the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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successful sports profesionals can earn a great deal more money than people in the other important professions. some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?