In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

in many countries in the

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

young people choose to leave their parent's

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

when they finish school.

however

Linking Words

, they live alone or they share their houses with friends. I believe that

according to

Linking Words

modern society ,

this

Linking Words

decide

Replace the word

decision

show examples

can be correct ,

Although

Linking Words

there are some challenges for them.

To begin

Linking Words

with ,

it is clear that

Linking Words

almost most children like to be

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

however

Linking Words

, they can not live with their parents for always.

Linking Words

furthermore

Capitalize word

Furthermore

show examples

, they must learn to continue their lives without

supportive

Replace the word

support

show examples

from their families.

there

Capitalize word

There

show examples

are some advantages and some disadvantages

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

decide

Replace the word

decision

show examples

for example

Linking Words

, they try to explore their skills and earn money from their abilities.

in addition

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, they learn to manage and save their money to buy

house

Correct article usage

a house

show examples

or car.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, they must do their routine

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cooking ,

washes

Wrong verb form

washing

show examples

the dishes or go the bank. they have to multi-task at the same time often and

this

Linking Words

is a good point for their future.

Linking Words

Capitalize word

show examples

other words , it helps to get strong in front of problems.I agree that children should leave their parent's home because of these reasons. there are some disadvantages

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue.

for instance

Linking Words

, when they get sick , they must care

themeselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

and it is very hard obviously or they feel homesick

due to

Linking Words

distance

Correct article usage

the distance

show examples

between

they

Change the pronoun

them

show examples

and

themeselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

. in the meantime , there are not good friends always and it may

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

create unhealthy friendships.

Hence

Linking Words

they should be careful for finding friends.

to sum up

Linking Words

, leaving

parent's

Correct article usage

a parent's

show examples

home is

benefecial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

as it improves

children' s

Change noun form

children's

show examples

abilities ,

Although

Linking Words

there are some problems

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

decide

Replace the word

decision

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

. everyone should decide

according to

Linking Words

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

personality.

rastaebrahimifar

Jun 3, 2024

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language

Ensure that you proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. This will help improve clarity and readability.

structure

Make sure to use transition words and phrases to better connect your paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.

content

Include more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will help strengthen your argument.

content

Expand on your ideas more thoroughly. Some points are briefly mentioned but not fully developed.

content

You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of young people leaving their parents’ home.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

structure

The structure of the essay is easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-reliance
financial responsibility
social isolation
housing demand
personal growth
financial strain
problem-solving
decision-making skills
disrupt
support networks

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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

you are looking for a full time job. write a letter to an employent agency. introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you hav

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is imp for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Ielts Simon: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.