đź“ť TASK 2: It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to providing formal education.
Responsibility most important thing for all students and they should learn the subject and have good
behaviour
at school
or in educational places
I believe that the family is the best place to teach children
good manners as well as
the education system can aid them.
Firstly
, children
could learn good behaviour
from family especially
their father and mother. When Add the comma(s)
, especially
childrenare
8or 9 months they will start learning Correct your spelling
children are
behaviour
as well
as
if the Correct word choice
and
children
's parents
have good up-brings
, the Correct your spelling
upbringing
children
have possibility
of getting satisfactory Add an article
the possibility
synpathy
.Correct your spelling
sympathy
For example
, children
's brains or memory copy what their parents
do . If parents
have more responsibility for the family and what they do again young can optimize their brain
.
During Fix the agreement mistake
brains
youngest
grow up they should need Correct article usage
the youngest
amazing
and interesting Correct article usage
an amazing
time
for well
manners. Change the adverb
good
There
Replace the word
Their
parents
help most importantly their children
and then
depend on the street conditions or how school
behaviour
.
On the other hand
, schools are also
forced to help. Also
helping teachers at school
is very important in Uzbekistan and many parents
say that school
is a second home for adults and the youngest. Because school
students spend most of their time
at school
, from when they learn letters to when they step into big life, and this
time
is an important time
in a person's life, that is
why school
also
has its important for children
to be well-behaved. As if thier second family.
In conclusion, school
and family are both important for a child's behaviour
and, most importantly, good behaviour
.
However
, parents
responsibility more than
teachersCorrect word choice
responsible than
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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer, more organized structure. Work on using paragraphs to separate different points and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction touches on the topic, it would be stronger if you explicitly state your thesis. For example, you could specify that you believe both families and schools share the responsibility of teaching good behavior, but with an emphasis on the family's role.
task achievement
In your main points, try to provide more specific examples or evidence that support your arguments. For instance, personal anecdotes, statistics, or references to studies could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph in your essay has a clear main idea and that you develop each idea fully before moving on to the next. This helps the reader understand your points and follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
You provide a clear point of view, emphasizing the role of both families and schools.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates an understanding of the necessity of teaching both formal education and good behavior.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.