When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#life #work #time #people

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Whether choosing an occupied life is a highly controversial discussion point.

This

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writer agrees that most

people

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will choose an unoccupied life

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they will have more

time

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for developing themselves and their family. It must be noticed that by not working full-

time

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people

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can spend more

time

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to improve themselves.

This

Linking Words

is because, when

people

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are not stranded by the working schedule that most individuals who mostly work have, they will not have to worry much about what they must do. Simultaneously, they will have more

time

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to focus on themselves to explore their inner selves.

As a result

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, these individuals will be able to see their

strength

Fix the agreement mistake

strengths

show examples

and weaknesses so that they can develop and fix

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

become a better version of themselves.

Thus

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people

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’s personalities will be able to strive by not working all the

time

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. Another aspect to consider when being unoccupied is the

time

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people

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had

Verb problem

spend

show examples

with their family

is increased

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. When

people

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have a job, they have the responsibility of completing the task given by their manager in order to make a living by their deadline, regardless of the duration and the volume of the work required to do.

Consequently

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people

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will have to spend their day completing the job,

whereas

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the

time

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for their family is gone.

Therefore

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, by being jobless, individuals will not have to

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

too much about their work but

instead

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, they can spend more of their precious

time

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with their

beloved

Correct your spelling

loved

show examples

ones.

For example

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, children who are not working can have more valuable moments with their parents. In conclusion, by not having a job,

people

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would be able to have more

time

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to create their better selves and for their

beloved

Correct your spelling

loved

show examples

ones.

Hence

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this

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author strongly

agree

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

that

people

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would definitely choose to become unemployed.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task response

Your essay effectively addresses the task and provides relevant arguments for the chosen stance. However, ensure that your examples are specific and varied to enrich your arguments further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with clear main points and supporting details. However, you can aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance readability.

task response

You provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples that support your main arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an organized structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
personal interests
social isolation
structured daily routine
sense of purpose
achievement
boredom
overworking
burnout
hobbies
family time
work pressures
stress
health issues
social interactions

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When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have bought a new laptop computer and in a few days of purchase discovered a major flaw. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like to company to take.

-It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.