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In today's world of advance technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers.What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

#world #advance #technology #value #artists #musicians #painters #writers #art #life #science
In contemporary society, despite the developed technology, individuals who work in artistic
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
such
 as musicians, painters and writers are still valued by
human
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humans
show examples
. The writer of
this
 essay argues that
art
 can teach certain lessons in life that
human
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humans
show examples
 cannot learn from science and technology. It is undeniable that
art
 is a form of creativity which means it can be understood in various meaning.
In other words
,
art
 shows
human
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humans
show examples
 how to think
in
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from
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 different perspectives which the science world cannot offer because of its stringent rules. Constrastly, in
art
, individuals are allowed to freely use their imagination;
therefore
, develop
our
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their
show examples
 cognitive thinking skills.
Consequently
,
this
 way of thinking can help people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gain deeper insight into things and easily think of possible solutions when encountering problems.
For instance
, a cat is just only
a
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an
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 ordinary animal in researchers' eyes;
however
, a cat in literature can be a family member, a friend or even a hero
whom
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who
show examples
 can help the world. Another essential skill in life that
art
 can provide is how to sympathize with others. To simplify, as the world is rapidly developing,
human
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humans
show examples
 is getting busier which leads to ignorance towards life and surroundings.
However
, people can again find their feelings and emotions back through
art
 because every artwork
instills
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instils
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 the writer's thoughts in it. Take music as a prime example which has been used in many charity campaigns
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to encourage people to donate
for
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to
show examples
 the poor. A survey conducted in Korea shows that with music, some organizations are able to raise funds up to millions of
dollar
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dollars
show examples
. In conclusion, it is the opinion of
this
 writer that only
art
 can teach
human
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humans
show examples
 how to observe from different views
as well as
 support other lives which cannot be taught by either technology or science.
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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific and varied examples. For instance, instead of just mentioning literature and music, you could include examples from painting and other forms of art.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, making sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Transition phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'moreover' could help improve cohesion.
task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear statement of the topic and your position, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay includes insightful arguments on how art helps develop cognitive skills and empathy, which are well articulated and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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