In today's world of advance technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers.What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

#world #advance #technology #value #artists #musicians #painters #writers #art #life #science

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In contemporary society, despite the developed technology, individuals who work in artistic

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

such

as musicians, painters and writers are still valued by

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

. The writer of

this

essay argues that

art

can teach certain lessons in life that

human

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humans

show examples

cannot learn from science and technology. It is undeniable that

art

is a form of creativity which means it can be understood in various meaning.

In other words

art

shows

human

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humans

show examples

how to think

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from

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different perspectives which the science world cannot offer because of its stringent rules. Constrastly, in

art

, individuals are allowed to freely use their imagination;

therefore

, develop

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

cognitive thinking skills.

Consequently

this

way of thinking can help people

Verb problem

apply

show examples

gain deeper insight into things and easily think of possible solutions when encountering problems.

For instance

, a cat is just only

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ordinary animal in researchers' eyes;

however

, a cat in literature can be a family member, a friend or even a hero

whom

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can help the world. Another essential skill in life that

art

can provide is how to sympathize with others. To simplify, as the world is rapidly developing,

human

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humans

show examples

is getting busier which leads to ignorance towards life and surroundings.

However

, people can again find their feelings and emotions back through

art

because every artwork

instills

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instils

show examples

the writer's thoughts in it. Take music as a prime example which has been used in many charity campaigns

so as

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apply

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to encourage people to donate

for

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show examples

the poor. A survey conducted in Korea shows that with music, some organizations are able to raise funds up to millions of

dollar

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dollars

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. In conclusion, it is the opinion of

this

writer that only

art

can teach

human

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humans

show examples

how to observe from different views

as well as

support other lives which cannot be taught by either technology or science.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific and varied examples. For instance, instead of just mentioning literature and music, you could include examples from painting and other forms of art.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, making sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Transition phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'moreover' could help improve cohesion.

task achievement

Your introduction provides a clear statement of the topic and your position, which sets a good foundation for your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Your essay includes insightful arguments on how art helps develop cognitive skills and empathy, which are well articulated and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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In today's world of advance technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers.What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Fully explain your ideas

Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.