When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree?
Upon being asked to choose between working and not to, most would decide on the latter.
This
essay agrees with the statement because of the abundance in
freedom and Change preposition
of
time
to pursue meaningful activity.
It should be known that,
having a job means people need to cover some aspect of responsibility, which can be suffocating and stressful in many cases. What is more, not everybody Remove the comma
apply
being
able to indulge in their Wrong verb form
is
prefer
job and position, leading to dissatisfaction in the workplace. The Change the form of the verb
preferred
overall
picture paints a scenario where one lack
in freedom to follow their ambitions, ending up Change the verb form
lacks
replying
on the companies and corporations. Correct your spelling
relying
This
can easily be seen in modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
of
life; people have no other choice but to continue going on shifts in order to make a living. Change preposition
apply
That is
the reason why if choice
can be Correct article usage
a choice
chosen
, many individuals would Verb problem
made
pursuit
not working.
Not only that, quitting work holds a lot of tempting ideas, the majority would be the Replace the word
pursue
overall
free-
Correct your spelling
free time
time
that are
available as to the usual working hours. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Instead
of the workloads with numerous deadlines pilling on the desk, now, workers are able to spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
time
with love
ones. Nowadays, as Replace the word
loved
the
result of Correct article usage
a
the
competitiveness in business, individuals have to Correct article usage
apply
prioritized
their Wrong verb form
prioritise
job
so that they can maintain Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Correct pronoun usage
their position
position
or get promoted. Many of Fix the agreement mistake
positions
which
include lack of Correct pronoun usage
these
time
for family, a consequence is an unfulfilling family relationship to
both parties. Being aware of Change preposition
for
this
, it is likely that a big
amount of people would fall into the not working category on behalf of bonding with Correct word choice
large
love
ones.
Taking all points into consideration, it is evident why the vote between two choices would see an imbalance because a large proportion of citizens saw the potential of free Replace the word
loved
time
and freedom in the proposal of not working.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on the topic. However, the argument could be made stronger with more specific examples and clearer explanations. Try to include real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, both could be more effective. The introduction could be expanded to give a fuller background of the issue, while the conclusion could better summarize the key points discussed.
language accuracy
Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or unclear. Pay attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word choice to improve clarity and fluency. For example, the phrase 'prefer job and position' should be 'preferred job and position'.
coherence and cohesion
The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Use linking words such as 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'in addition' to make the essay flow better.
task achievement
The essay displays a thoughtful engagement with the topic and provides some valid points for discussion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear attempt to organize the essay logically, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?