When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of time, people always choose not to work. do you agree or diagree with this statement?
Nowadays, many
people
are asked to work most of their lives or enjoy lives without working, the
majority of them often choose the latter option. The writer completely disagrees with Correct word choice
and the
this
statement because of several reasons which will be explained in this
essay.
It must be acknowledged that spending time
working would benefit individuals, particularly is
the workers. There is no doubt that Unnecessary verb
apply
people
now can easily gain experience and some soft skills
related to their social aspects. For instance
, throughout working
environment, Add an article
the working
people
have to face with
many social problems from customers, who always feel Change preposition
apply
skeptical
about the products of these Change the spelling
sceptical
company
, so the Fix the agreement mistake
companies
staffs
must have the communication Fix the agreement mistake
staff
skills
to convince these demanding people
. Therefore
, if employees did not gain enough skills
or experienced
to deal with these social issues, they would lose money for their businesses.
Another reason why Replace the word
experience
people
should work over the
period of Correct article usage
a
time
is the improvement in people
’s physical health
. Undoubtedly, people
who always enjoy the
life without working, which Correct article usage
apply
lead
to the sedentary lifestyles associated with different harmful Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
people
’s health
. According to
many
research, it is proved that non-working Correct quantifier usage
much
people
who stay at home without working are highly get some chronic diseases such
as heart problems and obesity, which will significantly decrease the total lifespan in society. Thus
, individuals who choose to work most of their time
could create a certain schedule instead
of staying at home, which would help them prevent many severe impacts.
In conclusion, it is obvious that enjoying a life without working will bring many detrimental influences on both mental and physical health
, so I argue that individuals would achieve many skills
and also
a
better Remove the article
apply
health
if they tended to spend most their
Change preposition
of their
time
working to earn money.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines your position and briefly touches on the reasons you will discuss.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific, relevant examples to support your points. For instance, enrich statistical data or real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the usage of transitional phrases to maintain the flow of ideas. This could enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on a more logical sequence within paragraphs to improve cohesive devices. Group related ideas together for better emphasis.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid foundation for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with well-organized paragraphs that make it easy to follow your points.
task achievement
You offer a balanced view by discussing multiple reasons why working is beneficial, which adds depth to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?