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Band 7

With the increasing used and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people use the perform. WWhat are the advantage and disadvantage of the trend?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many
machines
Use synonyms
 are now able to perform tasks that were once carried out by humans.
This
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 trend has sparked debate, with some highlighting the numerous benefits it brings,
while
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 others emphasize the negative consequences. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 shift and provide relevant examples to support the discussion. On one hand, the integration of advanced
machines
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 and automation
systems
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 has significantly improved productivity and efficiency across various sectors.
Machines
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 can work faster, longer, and more accurately than humans, which leads to better output and cost savings.
For instance
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, in the manufacturing industry, robotic arms on assembly lines operate continuously without fatigue, drastically reducing production costs for companies like Toyota and Tesla.
In addition
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, technology reduces the risk of human error, especially in sensitive fields. Robotic-assisted surgical
systems
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such
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 as the Da Vinci robot have improved surgical precision, resulting in fewer complications and faster recovery times for patients.
Furthermore
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, automation allows human
workers
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 to focus on more creative or strategic tasks. In the banking industry,
for example
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, AI-powered chatbots handle routine customer service tasks, allowing employees to manage complex cases more effectively.
On the other hand
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, the rapid replacement of human
workers
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 by
machines
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 has serious social and economic drawbacks. One major concern is rising unemployment. As
machines
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 take over routine or manual jobs, many
workers
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—particularly those with low skill levels—are left without employment. A clear example is the retail sector, where the increasing use of self-checkout
machines
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 has led to a reduction in cashier jobs.
Moreover
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, the digital divide means that not everyone is able to adapt to
this
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 technological transformation. Older
workers
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,
in particular
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, often struggle to learn new
systems
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 and are more vulnerable to job displacement.
According to
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 a 2023 OECD report,
workers
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 over the age of 50 are twice as likely to be replaced by automation compared to younger employees.
Lastly
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, overdependence on
machines
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 can lead to vulnerabilities
such
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 as system failures or cybersecurity threats. A notable incident occurred in 2021, when a major outage in Amazon Web Services (AWS) disrupted countless businesses around the world, exposing the risks of relying too heavily on automated
systems
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the use of
machines
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 to replace human
labor
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labour
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 offers numerous advantages, including increased productivity, accuracy, and innovation, it
also
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 brings significant challenges
such
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 as job loss, inequality, and system dependency.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is essential—one where technology is used to complement human skills rather than replace them entirely, ensuring progress
that is
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 both sustainable and inclusive.

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task achievement
Overall, your essay presents a clear argument with a well-defined structure. However, in your introduction, explicitly stating the main points you will discuss could enhance clarity. This helps guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
While your transitions are generally effective, consider varying your linking phrases to improve the flow of your arguments. For example, using phrases like 'In addition to...' or 'Conversely...' can enhance the coherence between your points.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples, such as the reference to AI-powered chatbots and robotic surgical systems, enhances the credibility of your arguments and demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The balance you maintain between discussing advantages and disadvantages is commendable and shows your ability to present a nuanced view of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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