When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.
When quizzed to choose between a
life
where they need not work
and working for a sizeable part of their time, individuals would always opt for a life
without work
. This
essay disagrees with this
because work
gives a sense of satisfaction, and secondly
, work
provides entertainment.
To begin
with, people’s life
thrives primarily on the satisfaction which they get from work
. Because of being social creatures, human beings want to excel in their lives, and they want society to know about their success. To achieve this
aim, most individuals go beyond their capacities and toil hard at their respective work
. Once they get initial success, they start liking their work
and find it difficult to leave it. For example
, during the lockdown due to
COVID-19
Pandemic, many people have gone into depression by sitting idle at home.
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
Moreover
, work
provides us with much-needed fun and entertainment. When we do work
, we meet a lot of people and widen our social circle. To explicate success at work
makes us feel motivated, and it puts us in a state of flow in which our work
is worship for us. In this
state, the time we put at work
passes quickly and makes us feel happy by keeping our worries at bay. To exemplify recent survey has revealed that most people feel bored in life
when they do not have much work
to do.
To conclude
a large section of society likes to remain engaged in work
because through this
activity they get a sense of accomplishment. Apart from
this
, regular participation in work
breaks the monotony in life
and makes us feel jovial.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. However, the wording could be smoothed out a little for better readability. Instead of 'This essay disagrees with this because work gives a sense of satisfaction, and secondly, work provides entertainment,' consider 'This essay disagrees with this statement because work provides both a sense of satisfaction and entertainment.'
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-organized, the transitions between paragraphs can be improved. Consider using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to ease the flow between your main points.
coherence cohesion
While the content of your essay is strong, some sentences could be made more concise. For example: 'Because of being social creatures, human beings want to excel in their lives, and they want society to know about their success,' could be rewritten as 'As social creatures, humans strive to excel and seek societal recognition.' This can make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
You included relevant and specific examples, which strengthen your arguments. The mention of the COVID-19 lockdown and its impact is particularly persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is solid. Each paragraph focuses on a single main point that supports your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted. They provide a clear beginning and end, framing your arguments effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?