Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have make the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages？
In recent years, there
is
a significant increase in the number of private healthcare Wrong verb form
has been
centers
in many countries, which may be related to people's desire for longer life span. In my view, Change the spelling
centres
this
phenomenon has more positive effects.
One main benefit is that it is beneficial for the improvement of advanced technology for curing a wide range of diseases. In order to succeed in intense competition, it is essential for every individual company to master some unique techniques to treat some difficult illness
, like Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
cancers
. Fix the agreement mistake
cancer
Therefore
, these enterprises are more likely to invest in
more funds and allocate more human resources Change preposition
apply
in
studying cutting-edge methods, compared with state hospitals. Change preposition
to
Furthermore
, personal corporations may be
more Verb problem
provide
customer-care
to attract more patients and make good profits. Correct your spelling
customer care
This
means there are better facilities, including lifts and beds, and leading surgens
and top physicians, where Correct your spelling
surgeons
citizents'
diseases can be treated more efficiently and smoothly.
Correct your spelling
citizens'
However
, there may be some drawbacks. To be more specific, the healthcare price here may be considerably higher than in public hospitals. This
is liable to cause some residents, especially those living in poverty, to lose the chance to cure their suffering and rescue their own life, which definitely infringes on basic human right
. It is obviously unequal and even leads to the Fix the agreement mistake
rights
backwards
of civilization. Replace the word
backwardness
On the other hand
, it is solvable. Governments can make some related laws to reduce the cost or subsidies those
companies, particularly the Change preposition
to those
one
which has succeeded in creating new treatments.
In conclusion, the trend has more merits Correct pronoun usage
ones
due to
the improvements in healthcare thchnology
and service, Correct your spelling
technology
while
it may give rise to the growth of spending on health care
.Correct your spelling
healthcare
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear stance on the topic; however, it could be more engaging to better capture the reader's attention. Try to expand it slightly by providing a brief context or background of the issue.
coherence cohesion
While you have a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more linking words and phrases could help with this.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant, but they could be strengthened with more specific examples. For instance, mentioning a specific cutting-edge medical technology or a country successfully implementing private healthcare improvements could make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'masters' instead of 'master', 'surgens' instead of 'surgeons', and 'citizents' instead of 'citizens'. These can distract the reader from your main points.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear argument with points for both the advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
You have a logically structured essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates good control over grammar and vocabulary, making your ideas understandable.