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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The charts illustrate the layout of a university's
sports
 center now, and how it will be updated after replacement.
Overall
, there is not any demolition of the construction from the future plans. In the future, some constructions will be built, where outdoor courts are located at present. It can be seen that two outdoor courts and the main
hall
 will connect with each other and
as a result
, it will be an enormous
sports
 centre.
In addition
, some constructions will be added by builders
instead
 of two outdoor courts, namely a leisure pool, two changing rooms, a
sports
 shop, a cafe, a
sports
hall
 and a pair of dance studios.
Secondly
, from the west side, there will be a pool, rest room and
sports
 shop.
While
, the east side, there will be a
sports
hall
, a couple of dance studios and
also
 a bathroom.
It is clear that
 the builders will not demolish anything in the main
hall
 during
this
 period.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good overview and includes multiple details. However, be careful with your terminology. For example, 'replacement' should be 'redevelopment.' Precise language enhances clarity.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure your paragraphs are more distinctly structured. Use linking words like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' to better connect your ideas and help the essay flow.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear conclusion to summarize the changes discussed. This will help to wrap up your essay neatly and improve the overall structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the current and future layouts effectively, showing a comprehensive understanding of the task.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific elements like 'leisure pool,' 'sports shop,' and 'dance studios' adds detail and precision to your response.
coherence and cohesion
The use of spatial descriptions (e.g., 'west side' and 'east side') helps to visualize the differences in the layout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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