Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

7.5 / 9

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Introduction

Nowadays, advertising is an inseparable part of our society. It is impossible to disagree with the fact that

advertisements

Use synonyms

play an important role in our daily lives and influence our decisions. From my point of view,

this

Linking Words

impact depends on the personal choices of each individual.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

are encouraged to buy things they do not really need, others use

advertisements

Use synonyms

to discover new

products

Use synonyms

that can improve their lives.

Body paragraph 1

First of all, advertising can encourage

people

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to spend money on unnecessary

products

Use synonyms

, as many companies use attractive images and special offers to influence customers.

However

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

do not always realise that they are buying something they do not actually need.

For example

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, many teenagers buy expensive clothes or new electronic devices simply because they are popular on social media.

As a result

Linking Words

, they may waste their money

instead

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of spending it on more important things.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, advertising can

also

Linking Words

help

people

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discover useful

products

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and services. Undoubtedly, modern life is highly multifaceted and increasingly fast-paced, but

advertisements

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can make it easier to find things that meet our needs.

For instance

Linking Words

, in my busy life,

advertisements

Use synonyms

can help me discover new technologies, educational platforms or useful computer equipment.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they allow us to compare different

products

Use synonyms

and learn about their features before making a purchase.

Conclusion

Finally

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, the modern world offers us thousands of

products

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and services, but it is up to us to decide what is worth buying. From my point of view, advertising can be useful if we learn to think critically and make sensible choices.

Therefore

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, I believe that

although

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

sometimes encourage unnecessary spending, their benefits can outweigh their disadvantages.

acaitaz

Nov 3, 2025

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task response

You answer both sides and give your own view. However, make your choice clearer at the start. Say that you agree more with the view that ads can help us find useful new things.

task response

Your main ideas are clear, but add more detail to show why useful ads can improve life. For example, explain how an ad for an online course can help a person learn a new skill.

task response

Your examples fit the topic. The example about your busy life is a little general. Give one clear, real type of product or service and explain its result.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear plan: first one side, then the other side, then your final view. This makes it easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use links like “However”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “Therefore” well. You can make the flow even better by linking each example back to its main point in the same paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

The last paragraph repeats your view well. You could make it stronger by saying clearly that useful ads are more helpful than harmful when people think before they buy.

task response

You discuss both the bad and good sides of advertising, and you give a clear final view.

task response

The points about social media, new tools, and learning sites are relevant and easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is well ordered.

coherence and cohesion

The opening and ending are clear and match the ideas in the main paragraphs.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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