IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Advertising: A Blessing or a Distraction? Advertising has become an inseparable part of modern life.
While
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 some people believe that it manipulates consumers into purchasing unnecessary items, others argue that it plays a vital role in informing the public about useful innovations. In my opinion,
although
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 advertising can sometimes promote wasteful spending, its
overall
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 impact on improving awareness and convenience is more beneficial. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, critics of advertising claim that it encourages materialism and impulsive buying. Through persuasive language, emotional imagery, and celebrity endorsements,
advertisements
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 often make people believe that owning a particular product will bring happiness or social status.
For example
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, fashion and beauty campaigns frequently target young audiences by portraying unrealistic standards, leading them to purchase items they do not truly need.
Furthermore
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, constant exposure to online ads can create pressure to keep up with trends, resulting in financial strain and dissatisfaction.
On the other hand
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, advertising serves as an important function in a competitive economy. It helps consumers discover new products and technologies that can genuinely improve their quality of life.
For instance
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,
advertisements
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 for eco-friendly household appliances or electric vehicles raise awareness about sustainable choices that benefit both individuals and the environment.
Moreover
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, small businesses rely on advertising to reach potential customers, which stimulates economic growth and innovation. Without
advertisements
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, many useful products would remain unknown to the public. In conclusion,
while
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 advertising can sometimes promote unnecessary consumption, its informative and economic benefits are undeniable. When approached critically,
advertisements
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 can empower people to make better choices rather than manipulate them.
Therefore
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, I believe that advertising, when
practiced
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practised
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 responsibly, plays a positive role in modern society.

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task response
Your answer has a clear view and you discuss both sides. To improve, add a stronger final line that ties back to the question and states your view more forcefully.
coherence and cohesion
The essay moves well. Use simple connect words to show how ideas link, and keep each paragraph to one main idea. This helps flow and makes it easy to read.
strength
Clear view and steady stance.
strength
Use of examples to back points.
strength
Good structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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