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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the internet use in six categories by age group.

The table below shows the internet use in six categories by age group.
Contained in the table is information pertaining to
people
Use synonyms
 who used the internet for six different activities broken down by
age
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 mostly used the internet for
product
Use synonyms
 research than any other category, except for
teenagers
Use synonyms
 and those over the
age
Use synonyms
 of sixty.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
product
Use synonyms
 research saw the highest figure amongst 40-year-olds,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for
teenagers
Use synonyms
. In
further
Linking Words
 detail,
people
Use synonyms
 who searched for
product
Use synonyms
 research were highest for those in their 40’s hitting 83%,
while
Linking Words
 other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 ranged between 70% and 80% with
teens
Use synonyms
 recording no data at all. Moving on to getting news, which was most popular with
teens
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 in their 30s at 76%.
This
Linking Words
 was only slightly more than other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 that ranged from 70% to 75%. In terms of buying a
product
Use synonyms
, the
age
Use synonyms
 range of 20-60 saw
figures
Use synonyms
 between 65% and 69%.
However
Linking Words
,
figures
Use synonyms
 for
teens
Use synonyms
 and those over 70 were comparably lower at 43% and 41% respectively. Turning to online games, where
teenagers
Use synonyms
 clearly dominated at 81%,
while
Linking Words
 other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 saw
figures
Use synonyms
 from 25% to 54%. Regarding downloads,
teens
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 outnumbered other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 at 52% with the other proportions dropping down in number by
age
Use synonyms
 to 70 years old and over, hitting a mere 6%.
Finally
Linking Words
, searching for
people
Use synonyms
 saw
figures
Use synonyms
 ranging from 23% to 31% for
people
Use synonyms
 aged 20 to over 70, whilst
teenagers
Use synonyms
 saw the smallest proportion of 5%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, product, teenagers, groups, teens, figures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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