Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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People
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have different views about whether non-amateur
sportspeople
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inspire the young generation as positive role models or not.
While
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the harmful behaviour of several
sportspeople
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contributes to the negative outlook that affects the youths, I believe that having someone to strive for and being encouraged to do more exercise is good for youngsters. First and foremost, an athlete can encourage young
people
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to set a goal and strive for that. To explain, when a sports player wins a competition it gives the young a sense of excitement and
also
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have ambition to achieve the goal set. Take Manchester United as a prime example here, which is a soccer team that has a tremendous contribution to nearly 60 per cent of their adorers to become soccer players or to try
this
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kind of sport.
Furthermore
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, the team's motivation and dedication
also
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promote the psychology inner person
such
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as bravery and self-assuredness.
Nevertheless
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, some
sportspeople
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's poor attitudes negatively direct youngsters.
This
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is because young
people
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who have intellectual curiosity tend to mimic others' acts regardless of negativity. Some athletes' appearance and manners can be misleading and inexperienced individuals can not realize that. They are right to a certain extent, but youngsters need to have more awareness when setting athletes as role models,
otherwise
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, they will become
people
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who have worsened characteristics.
According to
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my opinion, the youths can improve their physical health through admiring a sportsperson.
For instance
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, Steph Curry, a basketball legend, shows a strong passion for basketball and
this
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has energized many
people
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, especially the youth, to embrace the value of doing exercises.
As a result
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,
people
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will be more excited about sports and become healthier through
this
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.
Thus
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,
this
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essay has shown that the main factors that
sportspeople
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impact on the young generation are being promoted to strive and being encouraged to have a healthier lifestyle.
However
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, the youths need to pay more cognitive thinking when setting someone as a role model.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly differentiate between different points of view in different paragraphs to enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by elaborating on them further.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were both clear and effective, framing the essay well.
task achievement
The main points of your essay were well-supported, making your argument stronger.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
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