Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence

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People

have different views about whether non-amateur

sportspeople

inspire the young generation as positive role models or not.

While

the harmful behaviour of several

sportspeople

contributes to the negative outlook that affects the youths, I believe that having someone to strive for and being encouraged to do more exercise is good for youngsters. First and foremost, an athlete can encourage young

people

to set a goal and strive for that. To explain, when a sports player wins a competition it gives the young a sense of excitement and

also

have ambition to achieve the goal set. Take Manchester United as a prime example here, which is a soccer team that has a tremendous contribution to nearly 60 per cent of their adorers to become soccer players or to try

this

kind of sport.

Furthermore

, the team's motivation and dedication

also

promote the psychology inner person

such

as bravery and self-assuredness.

Nevertheless

, some

sportspeople

's poor attitudes negatively direct youngsters.

This

is because young

people

who have intellectual curiosity tend to mimic others' acts regardless of negativity. Some athletes' appearance and manners can be misleading and inexperienced individuals can not realize that. They are right to a certain extent, but youngsters need to have more awareness when setting athletes as role models,

otherwise

, they will become

people

who have worsened characteristics.

According to

my opinion, the youths can improve their physical health through admiring a sportsperson.

For instance

, Steph Curry, a basketball legend, shows a strong passion for basketball and

this

has energized many

people

, especially the youth, to embrace the value of doing exercises.

As a result

people

will be more excited about sports and become healthier through

this

Thus

this

essay has shown that the main factors that

sportspeople

impact on the young generation are being promoted to strive and being encouraged to have a healthier lifestyle.

However

, the youths need to pay more cognitive thinking when setting someone as a role model.

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to clearly differentiate between different points of view in different paragraphs to enhance the logical structure.

task achievement

Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by elaborating on them further.

coherence cohesion

Use more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion were both clear and effective, framing the essay well.

task achievement

The main points of your essay were well-supported, making your argument stronger.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.Some people feel online courses are better while others feel classroom courses are good? Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

As life expectancy is increasing, people work after retirement with pay. Alternatively, some people start to work at a young age. Are these positive or negative impacts?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarien relief during natural disasters

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?