IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
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It is
Add an article
the belief
a belief
show examples
belief
Replace the word
believed
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 that the
money
 which
people
 have earned should be kept and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoided
show examples
 spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the tax
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to the state. The
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
 of
this
 essay strongly
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
 with that idea
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various reasons which help
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 improve their country. Lots of
people
 think that it is very necessary to pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 for their nation because of
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 benefits. First of all, the
money
 from the tax
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 the authorities
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
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 the facilities.
For example
, there is a large number of local schools, hospitals
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
built by the
money
 of residents through taxation.
Secondly
, the government
also
 use that
money
 to help poor
people
 who can not afford their cost of living or
also
 assist homeless
people
. Take local
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
for instance
, the accommodation which was built for
people
 who
sleeping
Change the form of the verb
sleep
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 rough or
people
 who are
disability
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, many
people
 believe that they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 ough to
pax
Correct your spelling
pay
show examples
 taxes even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 can use that
money
 for many other reasons. Nowadays
people
 try to escape from paying
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
 because the more
money
 they earn the more levy they have to pay.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they can use their
money
 for several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
,
for example
,
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
living
Add an article
the living
a living
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 cost, car, home or even their hobbies. Paying for
Correct article usage
the securtity
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securtity
Correct your spelling
security
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 is the main reason that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
certaintly
Correct your spelling
certainly
 agree that
people
 should spend on taxes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the nation. It
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 authorities
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the person who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in
military
Add an article
the military
a military
show examples
 area or even
navy
Correct article usage
the navy
show examples
, giving soldiers more motivation for their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Even more, taxation
also
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
 the
conditon
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
 in remote
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 for better health.
For instance
, the
money
 from the taxes can help children in mountain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 which have bad quality facilities go to school,
hospital
Correct word choice
and hospital
show examples
 and
also
 assist them to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that the advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taxation outweigh the disadvantages of it because of some reasons that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have
mention
Change the verb form
mentioned
show examples
 in my essay.
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language
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the readability of the essay. Revise sentences to improve clarity and correctness.
task achievement
Expanding ideas with more specific examples and explanations will strengthen your arguments and increase your score.
language
Focus on using varied and complex sentence structures. This will enhance the overall quality of your writing.
structure
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your position.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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