Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
There aren'
t
providing
Verb problem
apply
sports
facilities
that everyone
can use
in some countries
. While
some countries
have providing
Change the verb form
to provide
sports
areas for eveyone
. the other Correct your spelling
everyone
countries
don't
care society
and they only focus Change preposition
about society
to
top Change preposition
on
athletes
. I strongly agree with
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct determiner usage
that
everyone
can use
the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
facilities
and in this
essay, both views will be discussed and my own opinion will be stated.
On the one hand, that decision is sensible because the
good Correct article usage
apply
athletes
should be discovered and supported by the government. They should do
train in Unnecessary verb
apply
better
environment. They can improve better themselves thanks to that structure and areas. There are a lot of good Add an article
a better
athletes
in many countries
but they don't
have enough area and materials because of economic crisis. If they
the government make these buildings, the top Correct pronoun usage
apply
athletes
can represent to
their country.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, that decision shouldn't
be done
and the government Verb problem
made
shold
be built Correct your spelling
should
sports
facilities
that everyone
can use
. Thus
, everyone
can do sports
activities. Countries
should think not only Change preposition
of top
top
Change preposition
of top
athletes
but also
Change preposition
of other
other
people. These areas can be used by society Change preposition
of other
instead
of only top athletes
. According to
research conducted, countries
which do sports
are more Correct your spelling
successful
succesfull
and healthier than other Correct your spelling
successful
countries
I don't
agree with the
that project because Remove the article
apply
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
to
only top Change preposition
of
athletes
is ridicolous
. If Correct your spelling
ridiculous
that
Change the determiner
those
buildins
are used by society, there will Correct your spelling
buildings
building
more
Add a missing verb
be more
athletes
in countries
and more athletes
are
discovered by Wrong verb form
will be
coachs
. Correct your spelling
coaches
coach
Whereras
, Correct your spelling
Whereas
everyone
don'
Change the verb form
doesn't
t
have enough economic situation.
To put it in a nutshell, there are different ideas and there aren't
sports
facilities
that everyone
can use
, these building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
for
only top Add a missing verb
are for
athletes
.Submitted by svdnruslu on
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coherence cohesion
The essay should include a clearer and more concise introduction. It currently lacks coherence and has some grammatical errors.
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples and details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive statements and focus on presenting unique ideas for each paragraph to enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views, providing a balanced perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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