IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You received a letter from your friend informing you that his elderly parents are coming to visit in your area and he is asking for your advice on - which places they should visit - where should they live - invite them to do something with you

#friend #parents #visit #area #advice #places
Dear John, How are you? I received your letter
last
 Saturday about seeking my advice for your parents’ visit to my town so that to make their trip memorable. As you have mentioned their trip is from 4th July to 8th July which is the best time to visit St. John Park and the Land of Birds, these places have special discounts for senior citizens on weekends and a lot of fun activities for elders and kids. Apart from these, The Big Era mall is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 one-of-its-kind place because it has shopping areas, a number of buffets and the best 3D Dolby
atoms
Capitalize word
Atoms
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 sound cinema.
Moreover
, you don’t need to worry about their stay as one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
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 is a manager
in
Change preposition
at
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 the Ramada Hotel, I can ask him to book a suit for your parents at a discounted price including breakfast.
Last
 but not least, my family and I would love to invite your parents to join us for fishing and a dinner party on the 6th where uncle and aunt can try their hands
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dancing and cooking. I can’t wait to see them here. Yours lovingly, Jacob
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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grammar
Ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and free of small errors. E.g., 'you don’t need to worry about their stay as one of my friend is a manager' should be 'you don’t need to worry about their stay as one of my friends is a manager'.
cohesion
Add smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion and the logical flow. For instance, instead of starting with 'Moreover, you don’t need to worry', you could say 'Additionally, to make their stay comfortable, you don’t need to worry...'
task achievement
Give some more specific examples or personal anecdotes to make the response more vivid. For example, you can mention a specific activity in the park or at the mall that they might particularly enjoy.
task achievement
The response is detailed and addresses all parts of the prompt effectively, providing clear and relevant advice.
introduction conclusion present
The letter starts and ends well, providing a friendly and warm tone throughout. The concluding sentence effectively wraps up the letter.
supported main points
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with specific examples, making the response logical and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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