Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is reason for doing this? Is this negative or positive development?
these days children are facing severe pressure from their
parents
to become successful in life
. In my opinion , this
is positive
change, Add an article
a positive
eventhough
there are some drawbacks. In Correct your spelling
even though
this
essay, I will explore it.
Nowadays, Parents
tend to put their scions under a a lot of pressure as they wish successful
future for them. By giving theirCorrect article usage
a successful
offsprings
to tutors. They are trying to additional courses, Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
educational
trying to improve Correct word choice
and educational
Correct article usage
the education
education
background of children or to sport,ensuring they will be healthy. And requiring them to be the best in class, at school, in Replace the word
educational
country
and even in the world.
Add an article
the country
As a result
, we have a child with a powerful background in education and sport
, So he or she can easily pass an exam Fix the agreement mistake
sports
of
a prestigious university, win a Change preposition
at
scholarships
or Fix the agreement mistake
scholarship
grants
and study there Fix the agreement mistake
grant
for
free of charge. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, after graduating from university They will be able to find a well-paid job and feed his
family, Correct pronoun usage
their
he
will not have a problem with money as 80 % of the population do,Correct pronoun usage
they
he
will be financially independent, briefly, he will win a Correct pronoun usage
they
life
On the other hand
, these changes may have negative effects on Correct article usage
a child
child
mental health. Change noun form
child's
Due to
the sheer amount of pressure, Scion won't have time for him or herself. Which
means they will have no hobbies and Correct pronoun usage
This
happy
childhood which every kid has to have, leading to anxiety, stress, Correct article usage
a happy
Correct word choice
and depressions
depressions
.
Fix the agreement mistake
depression
For example
, parents
want their adolescents to become Add an article
a doctor
doctor
because, it well-paid and Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
high
valued job in the world,which will guarantee successful Replace the word
highly
life
, therefore
They force their kids to study medicine, Correct your spelling
even though
eventhough
teenager is interested in football and his dream is to become Correct your spelling
even though
the
best football player in the world but he studies medicine and eventually he ends up doctor, well he will have a lot of money, fortune, But he will not happy and deep inside he will regret
In Summary, Correct article usage
a the
through
Correct your spelling
though
parents
do all these things for the sake of their scions, they have to ask their children what they want from this
life
and give freedom to act as they want.Submitted by ooorciga1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Specific anecdotes or data can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smoother to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
You make a clear effort to introduce your topic and provide a summary in the conclusion. This helps in giving the essay a complete structure.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic. This adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.