IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss

Prison
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 as a
punishment
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 for criminals stimulates a debatable issue among societies. Some individuals encourage
prison
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, which is a plausible retribution.
However
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, I do not agree with
this
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 notion because every criminal commits to
crime
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 in a different degree of violation of the law and there are preferable
form
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forms
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 of
punishment
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 for those who commit less personal crimes
such
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 as
community
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 services or paying
fines
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. Deciding on criminals committing to
crime
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 in a high level of lawbreaking in a
prison
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 is a plausible
punishment
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. With
this
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 scheme, the inmates have a chance to become kind
person
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people
show examples
 as some rehabilitation programs have been delivered for them. These programs enhance social life skills and practical skills.
For instance
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, educating on good
behavior
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behaviour
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 increases awareness of law and morals that leads these people avoid to committing a
crime
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. To illustrate another program is increased employability, training programs, which teach inmates like carpentry, mechanics, or culinary, are solutions.
As a result
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, these skills are becoming a way to earn money and obtain jobs. Utilizing various punishments to address
offenses
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offences
show examples
 through
community
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service
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 and
fines
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 is a prevalent option.
Community
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service
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 aims to rehabilitate by giving some work for societies or governments like environmental
service
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. These people engage to protect the environment by cleaning up parks and planting trees.
However
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,
this
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 program depends on how many hours they should do
this
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 program that the court has decided for them.
In addition
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, not only is paying
fines
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 an action to contribute to the government's budgeting but
also
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 a soft option for the
offenses
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offences
show examples
.
To sum up
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, considering a
prison
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 as the ideal
punishment
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 would depend on the level of
crime
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 action,
while
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community
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service
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 and
fines
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 are two soft options for
punishment
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.

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coherence cohesion
While the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and the topic, it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that endears the reader to the approach the writer will take throughout the essay.
task achievement
Adding more specific examples or statistical data would strengthen the argument and make the main points more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by considering and refuting possible counterarguments on why some may believe prison is indeed the best punishment.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer's arguments.
task achievement
The essay includes a variety of suggestions and solutions, such as alternative punishments like community service and fines, thereby showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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