Nowadays people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed than before. What are the reasons for this? What employers can do to make people's life easier?

Recently, spending extra
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
at
work
and getting stressed out of it is commonly heard among society. I believe that
this
problem
happens for some
reasons
and measures need to be taken to solve it.
To begin
with,
this
issue might occur when staff are carrying more responsibility than they can handle. It is viral among the public that some
job
vacancies require them to
work
with multiple responsibilities. Take a look at IT support
for example
, at some companies, sometimes they are required to handle the companies' social media.
Thus
, it leads them to take extra
time
to learn their new task and finish them before the deadline.
Next,
personal
reasons
might
also
be the root of
this
problem
.
First,
some people tend to have difficulty limiting their personal and working life. As an illustration, some workers tend to spend their
time
scrolling their social media during working
time
,
instead
of finishing their
job
list. Another reason might be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the effect of the competition at
work
. As the pressure to perform as
good
Change the word
well
show examples
as possible, some of them might stay late at
work
to enhance their performance at
work
. To tackle
this
problem
, it is essential for
employers
to take some solutions. As a prevention, it is crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers
to give clear and reasonable
job
descriptions when hiring. They can
also
provide monthly relaxing activities
such
as sports or
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
for
employers
, so staff can refresh their minds and reduce the tension at
work
. It is
also
effective to provide free mental health counselling for the workers. In summary, longer working
time
at
work
which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
stress among citizens
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
for some
reasons
, including responsibilities and personal
reasons
.
Employers
can tackle
this
problem
by giving a clear
job
list, doing monthly relaxing activities, and providing free
counsellor
Correct your spelling
counselling
show examples
to accommodate mental health problems.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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task response
Your essay presents a complete response to the task and addresses both parts of the question effectively. To improve further, ensure that all ideas are fully developed with specific examples and evidence.
task response
The ideas in the essay are mostly clear and comprehensive. Make sure your points are consistently well-explained and elaborated to provide a clearer argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, but you could improve coherence by using linking words and transitions more effectively to ensure smooth flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, consider making them more engaging by explicitly stating what the essay will discuss and summarizing the main points more effectively.
task response
Provide more specific examples to back up each main point. This will make your arguments more concrete and convincing.
task response
Your essay addresses both parts of the task and presents a balanced discussion on the reasons for extended work hours and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported and logically ordered, which aids overall comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stretching working hours
  • increased competition
  • economic pressures
  • job insecurity
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
  • mental health support
  • stress management workshops
  • telecommuting
  • blurred boundaries
  • globalized world
  • advent of mobile devices
  • daily stress of commuting
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