Nowadays people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed than before. What are the reasons for this? What employers can do to make people's life easier?

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Recently, spending extra
hour
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hours
show examples
at
work
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and getting stressed out of it is commonly heard among society. I believe that
this
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problem
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happens for some
reasons
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and measures need to be taken to solve it.
To begin
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with,
this
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issue might occur when staff are carrying more responsibility than they can handle. It is viral among the public that some
job
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vacancies require them to
work
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with multiple responsibilities. Take a look at IT support
for example
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, at some companies, sometimes they are required to handle the companies' social media.
Thus
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, it leads them to take extra
time
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to learn their new task and finish them before the deadline.
Next,
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personal
reasons
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might
also
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be the root of
this
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problem
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.
First,
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some people tend to have difficulty limiting their personal and working life. As an illustration, some workers tend to spend their
time
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scrolling their social media during working
time
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,
instead
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of finishing their
job
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list. Another reason might be
as
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apply
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the effect of the competition at
work
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. As the pressure to perform as
good
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well
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as possible, some of them might stay late at
work
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to enhance their performance at
work
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. To tackle
this
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problem
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, it is essential for
employers
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to take some solutions. As a prevention, it is crucial for
the
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apply
show examples
employers
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to give clear and reasonable
job
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descriptions when hiring. They can
also
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provide monthly relaxing activities
such
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as sports or
game
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games
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for
employers
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, so staff can refresh their minds and reduce the tension at
work
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. It is
also
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effective to provide free mental health counselling for the workers. In summary, longer working
time
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at
work
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which
cause
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causes
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stress among citizens
happen
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happens
show examples
for some
reasons
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, including responsibilities and personal
reasons
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.
Employers
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can tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
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by giving a clear
job
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list, doing monthly relaxing activities, and providing free
counsellor
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counselling
show examples
to accommodate mental health problems.
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task response
Your essay presents a complete response to the task and addresses both parts of the question effectively. To improve further, ensure that all ideas are fully developed with specific examples and evidence.
task response
The ideas in the essay are mostly clear and comprehensive. Make sure your points are consistently well-explained and elaborated to provide a clearer argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, but you could improve coherence by using linking words and transitions more effectively to ensure smooth flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, consider making them more engaging by explicitly stating what the essay will discuss and summarizing the main points more effectively.
task response
Provide more specific examples to back up each main point. This will make your arguments more concrete and convincing.
task response
Your essay addresses both parts of the task and presents a balanced discussion on the reasons for extended work hours and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported and logically ordered, which aids overall comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stretching working hours
  • increased competition
  • economic pressures
  • job insecurity
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
  • mental health support
  • stress management workshops
  • telecommuting
  • blurred boundaries
  • globalized world
  • advent of mobile devices
  • daily stress of commuting
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