The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in everyday life. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days the power of social
media
in our daily lives is increasing rapidly, in fact, many people these days cannot live without sharing everything on social
media
. In certain, replacing face-to-face contact is a harsh problem, and if we don't understand the issue we will get in trouble. Smartphones with increasingly powerful technology, are convenient and always at hand, which makes them a popular choice for daily use. there is
severe
Correct article usage
a severe
show examples
of using social
media
instead
of face-to-face contact. For illustration, there's no matter how long the distance between two
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
, social
media
could let them
attach
Verb problem
communicate
show examples
by voice,
video
Correct word choice
or video
show examples
call. in conclusion, using social
media
in our daily lives
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
time and effort.
On the other hand
, a lot of people
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that social
media
and technology destroy the
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
between others.
For example
, multiple people can't understand the fillings in the text message which creates complicated problems in their relationships, face-to-face contact can definitely
maneuver
Change the spelling
manoeuvre
show examples
filling, my perspective is to evolve and develop our communication skills and that's slight with social
media
addiction, which relies heavily on fake appearances.
This
proves clearly that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. eventually, after a careful analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, I believe that nothing can be more sufficient
like
Change preposition
than
show examples
face-to-face communication. all of us must manage and balance social
media
and
don't
Verb problem
not
show examples
let technology decide what life should live.
Submitted by shahad.san966 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, but the structure could be more logical. Consider using clear paragraphs or topic sentences to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your points are relevant, but they need more support with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make your writing more persuasive.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors, and work on making sentences clearer and more concise. This will help improve the overall clarity of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument and provided a conclusion that aligns with your viewpoint.
complete response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a comprehensive response to the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are clearly stated and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • geographical location
  • professional networking
  • career development
  • self-expression
  • social anxiety
  • superficial relationships
  • emotional depth
  • misinformation
  • cyberbullying
  • social well-being
  • social isolation
  • social skills
  • privacy concerns
  • oversharing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: