Some argue that government should take care of disadvataged people such as unemployed and needy. To what extent do you agree or disagree>?
While
a group of people
say that governments have to help people
who are poor and jobless another group don`t
agree with that Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn`t
However
I strongly agree with this
matter.
Giving a hand to poor or homeless people
by government
is a really good idea. Residents can consider some fee for these locals, including some food or a place, where they can sleep at night or give them some general jobs, which can help them to be more comfortable and the number of these types of society can be less. In Correct article usage
the government
this
way
criminals decrease.
Helping these Add a comma
way,
people
could improve them to be better or have a job and family and also
a warm house. Some of them are looking for a
opportunity to improve their life or be a normal person when Change the article
an
government
help them and gives them Correct article usage
the government
this
access they use it totally and change their life. Even though some of them could be able to be really successful person
point to the Guardian newspaper the percentage of poor Fix the agreement mistake
people
people
in countries where their government
help them and give
them a job decreased by almost 10 per cent.
In some Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
case
, there is some special condition. They are enjoying the situation they are in even though they don`t want to change, so for Fix the agreement mistake
cases
this
specific group care and help haven`t got any effect on them and they are not going to move on their own. If they were in this
situation, governments have to charge them instead
of helping them.
In general for government
has to be more important in the situation of these parts of society, who need care. Officials must solve this
problem because I can`t suggest a professional solution before gets late.Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, focus on providing more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph logically flows to the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
general
Pay attention to clarity and grammar. While your ideas are clear, small grammatical errors can make your writing less polished. Consider thorough proofreading or using tools to check for common mistakes.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides both arguments and counterarguments, which helps in demonstrating a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your essay well-organized and easy to follow.
task achievement
The idea of government intervention reducing crime and improving lives is a strong point and adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.