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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

One of your penfriends wants to improve his/her english in advance of moving to sydney Write a letter to your penfriend. Advise him/her about the following: listening skills, speaking skills and vocabulary.

#penfriends #english #advance #sydney #penfriend #skills #vocabulary
Dear Mr James, I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 gone through your letter in which you
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mentioned
to improve
Change the verb form
improving
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 your
English
 language skills.
English
 is
language
Add an article
a language
the language
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 which you can learn by observation too. You need to start improving your
English
 language listening skills. So that you can understand what
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 is saying to you. It will help you
in interacting
Change preposition
interact
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 with people in Sydney.
In addition
 to that, start working on your grammar particularly tenses,
Correct word choice
and subject
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subject verb
Add a hyphen
subject-verb
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 agreement so that you can speak correct
English
. By focusing on speaking skills like grammar soon you will develop confidence to speak correct
English
. It will help you in Speaking
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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.
Finally
, try to improve vocabulary by learning
English
 words for
day-today
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
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 items like vegetables, transport,
electronics
Correct word choice
and electronics
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 and improve on
vocab
Correct your spelling
vocabulary
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. It will give you
confidence
Change the article
the confidence
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 to express yourself better in tricky situations. I hope my suggestion will help you. Yours Sincerely, Jay Mark
Submitted by yash334 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and make the logical structure clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on using varied sentence structures to improve the fluency and readability of your letter.
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all the main points: listening skills, speaking skills, and vocabulary.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and encouraging, which is suitable for writing to a penfriend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the letter organized and easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are appropriate and polite.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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