Write about the following topic. Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life

Throughout history,

fashion

always

change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

to suitable with

people

's vision so individuals tend to own

newest

Correct article usage

the newest

show examples

dresses. It can be expensive for some

people

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

others suppose that vogue is very essential,

hence

its cost is affordable. In

this

essay, I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the two above opinions. First and foremost, It is undeniable that model fashions have high

value

, even though the cost of dresses are more expensive than luxury objects

such

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

, etc... The

value

clothes

includes brand,

deginer

Correct your spelling

designer

beginner

popularity and raw materials. In reality, expensive fashions usually are made

Change preposition

with

show examples

high

Add a hyphen

high-value

show examples

value

raw materials and they are created by famous

deginers

Correct your spelling

designers

beginners

Moreover

deginers

Correct your spelling

beginners

designers

can increase

the

Change the word

their

show examples

value

of them by attaching rare accessories to the outfit.

While

some

people

can face with lots of

difficults

Correct your spelling

difficulties

difficult

to buy

Change preposition

in buying

show examples

luxury

clothes

, others believe that it is acceptable because

fashion

is an

undispensable

Correct your spelling

indispensable

part of their life. The rich, who have a passion

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct article usage

the modelest

show examples

modelest

Correct your spelling

model

style,

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

willing

on paying

Change preposition

to pay

show examples

lots of money to buy limited items. Not only

these

Add a missing verb

do these

show examples

clothes

help them feel comfortable, but it

also

is a part of their work.

For instance

, famous actors and singers always appear with their best pictures.

Therefore

, they usually buy expensive dresses

Change preposition

show examples

a requirement of audiences. In

this

condition, fans can support

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the decision of famous

people

. In conclusion,

fashion

can

less

Add a missing verb

be less

show examples

important or very vital for individuals, which

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

their work,

desire

Fix the agreement mistake

desires

show examples

and salary. From my point of view, I assume that users should choose suitable

clothes

, which make them feel comfortable.

That is

medthod

Correct your spelling

method

Change preposition

show examples

fashion

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

several benefits to everyone.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Mon Jun 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on reducing grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity. For instance, 'deginers' should be 'designers' and 'undispensable' should be 'indispensable'.

elaboration

Try to expand on the points with more detailed examples and deeper analysis. For instance, include an example of an expensive fashion item and its impact on both an individual's life and the society.

cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Words like 'additionally', 'conversely', and 'similarly' can help in this regard.

balanced argument

The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both opinions fairly.

introduction conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and offer a comprehensive overview of the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for comunication outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's digital age, social media has been developing across the world, people's relationship and society has seen changes over time. This author believes that the advantages of bringing more opportunities of promoting bussiness and enabling users to communicate quicker overshadowed the drawback of getting scammed.
4.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I agree that rich countries does not solve poverty by giving the poorer country money. The main reason is because it does not help the economic situation in poorer country to move. They will just using the money for the things that not going back in return. Personally, I believe making a program to help poorer country to understand how to make things work will be better. The program can be started with build a bonding with the country by sending help at first, it will increase gradually not only financial or physical needs but richer country can provide poorer country an education like scholarship or building a new system in their education. For the second statement, I have to agree in one side that developed countries can give other types of help rather than financial aid. The other type of help that they can give is volunteers, where they make a program and assign groups of people from their country to be participating in the program. They have to train the volunteers in terms of ...
8
band
Some people think that individuals are born to be leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In contemporary society, the question of what constitutes a great leader has sparked a degree of controversy among people. Although there are individuals who have the inborn ability to be leaders, I would argue that leadership is something we need to learn.
8.5
band
Some people think that it is the best to save money, for exemple in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach on opinion on this debate
At present, the bill continues to be a controversial topic, most individuals firmly believe that cash is saved via a bank or institution of capital, however, others feel capital ought to be spent if it is available. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss now.
7
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Recently, an increasing number of people from rural regions are migrating to urban areas and leaving the countryside with a declining population. I firmly believe it is a negative development which can lead to an escalated unemployment rate and potential environmental impacts.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for comunication outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that individuals are born to be leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is the best to save money, for exemple in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach on opinion on this debate

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Is this a positive or a negative development?