Write about the following topic. Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Throughout history,
fashion
always
change
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changed
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to suitable with
people
's vision so individuals tend to own
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
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dresses. It can be expensive for some
people
,
however
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however,
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others suppose that vogue is very essential,
hence
its cost is affordable. In
this
essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
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the two above opinions. First and foremost, It is undeniable that model fashions have high
value
, even though the cost of dresses are more expensive than luxury objects
such
as
house
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houses
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,
car
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cars
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, etc... The
value
of
clothes
includes brand,
deginer
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designer
beginner
popularity and raw materials. In reality, expensive fashions usually are made
by
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with
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high
Add a hyphen
high-value
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value
raw materials and they are created by famous
deginers
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designers
beginners
.
Moreover
,
deginers
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beginners
designers
can increase
the
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their
show examples
value
of them by attaching rare accessories to the outfit.
While
some
people
can face with lots of
difficults
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difficulties
difficult
to buy
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in buying
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luxury
clothes
, others believe that it is acceptable because
fashion
is an
undispensable
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indispensable
part of their life. The rich, who have a passion
with
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for
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Correct article usage
the modelest
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modelest
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model
style,
is
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are
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willing
on paying
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to pay
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lots of money to buy limited items. Not only
these
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do these
show examples
clothes
help them feel comfortable, but it
also
is a part of their work.
For instance
, famous actors and singers always appear with their best pictures.
Therefore
, they usually buy expensive dresses
like
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as
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a requirement of audiences. In
this
condition, fans can support
for
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apply
show examples
the decision of famous
people
. In conclusion,
fashion
can
less
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be less
show examples
important or very vital for individuals, which
depend
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depends
show examples
with
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on
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their work,
desire
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desires
show examples
and salary. From my point of view, I assume that users should choose suitable
clothes
, which make them feel comfortable.
That is
a
medthod
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method
to
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of
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fashion
bring
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brings
show examples
several benefits to everyone.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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grammar
Work on reducing grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity. For instance, 'deginers' should be 'designers' and 'undispensable' should be 'indispensable'.
elaboration
Try to expand on the points with more detailed examples and deeper analysis. For instance, include an example of an expensive fashion item and its impact on both an individual's life and the society.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Words like 'additionally', 'conversely', and 'similarly' can help in this regard.
balanced argument
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both opinions fairly.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and offer a comprehensive overview of the topic.
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