Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Throughout history,
fashion
always changed to suitable with
people
's vision so individuals tend to own the newest dresses. It can be expensive for some
people
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
others suppose that vogue is very essential,
hence
its cost is affordable. In
this
essay, I will discuss the two above opinions. First and foremost, It is undeniable that model fashions have high value, even though the cost of dresses
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more expensive than luxury objects
such
as houses, cars, etc... The value of
clothes
includes brand, designer popularity and raw materials. In reality, expensive fashions usually are made with high-value raw materials and they are created by famous designers.
Moreover
, designers can increase their value of them by attaching rare accessories to the outfit.
While
some
people
can face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lots of difficulties in buying luxury
clothes
, others believe that it is acceptable because
fashion
is an indispensable part of their life. The rich, who have a passion for dressing up nicely, are willing to pay lots of money to buy limited items. Not only do these
clothes
help them feel comfortable, but it
also
is a part of their work.
For instance
, famous actors and singers always appear with their best pictures.
Therefore
, they usually buy expensive dresses as a requirement of audiences. In
this
condition, fans can support the
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
of famous
people
. In conclusion,
fashion
can be less important or very vital for individuals, which depends on their work, desires and salary. From my point of view, I assume that users should choose suitable
clothes
, which make them feel comfortable.
That is
a method of
fashion
brings
Correct pronoun usage
that brings
show examples
several benefits to everyone.
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task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the question. You should discuss both views comprehensively before giving your own opinion. Including relevant examples is crucial to illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly and cohesively. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and covers both perspectives, also providing an opinion.

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