Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance

Throughout history,

fashion

always changed to suitable with

people

's vision so individuals tend to own the newest dresses. It can be expensive for some

people

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

others suppose that vogue is very essential,

hence

its cost is affordable. In

this

essay, I will discuss the two above opinions. First and foremost, It is undeniable that model fashions have high value, even though the cost of dresses

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more expensive than luxury objects

such

as houses, cars, etc... The value of

clothes

includes brand, designer popularity and raw materials. In reality, expensive fashions usually are made with high-value raw materials and they are created by famous designers.

Moreover

, designers can increase their value of them by attaching rare accessories to the outfit.

While

some

people

can face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lots of difficulties in buying luxury

clothes

, others believe that it is acceptable because

fashion

is an indispensable part of their life. The rich, who have a passion for dressing up nicely, are willing to pay lots of money to buy limited items. Not only do these

clothes

help them feel comfortable, but it

also

is a part of their work.

For instance

, famous actors and singers always appear with their best pictures.

Therefore

, they usually buy expensive dresses as a requirement of audiences. In

this

condition, fans can support the

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

of famous

people

. In conclusion,

fashion

can be less important or very vital for individuals, which depends on their work, desires and salary. From my point of view, I assume that users should choose suitable

clothes

, which make them feel comfortable.

That is

a method of

fashion

brings

Correct pronoun usage

that brings

show examples

several benefits to everyone.

Submitted by duongntt.tld on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that you address all parts of the question. You should discuss both views comprehensively before giving your own opinion. Including relevant examples is crucial to illustrate your points more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Try to enhance the logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly and cohesively. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to your essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and covers both perspectives, also providing an opinion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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