IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Water pollution has become an increasing problem over the past few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?

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Water
Use synonyms
 contamination has been increasing over the past few years. There are some factors why
this
Linking Words
 has happened, and I assume that there are some possible
solution
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solutions
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 to solve
this
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 issue. There are several contributing factors
why
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to why
show examples
water
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 polluted. The main cause of
this
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 issue is that
,
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apply
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 the import and export industries do their shipping through the oceans by enormous cargo
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ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
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 to reduce their costs.
These huge
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This huge ship
These huge ships
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ship
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 consume great
volume
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volumes
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 of petrol and evacuate their
Use synonyms
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 directly to the sea.
As a result
Linking Words
, a dangerous amount of oil and contamination
abondand
Correct your spelling
abundant
 into the sea and puts the marine species life at risk. Another major cause to blame is the factories, which leave
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
wastes
Use synonyms
 of their production process into the rivers. Most of the time the factories’
wastes
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 consist of chemical and
toxid
Correct your spelling
toxic
toxin
 materials, and they might contaminate a river which runs through a city or village. If people used contaminated
water
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 by accident, their health would be in great danger.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that some measures could be taken by the government to tackle
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
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 pollution problem.
Firstly
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, the government should
supervision
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supervise
show examples
on
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apply
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the trading businesses in order to limit the number of their cargo
ship
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. The state should support the local markets to produce more and decrease their
import
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imported
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 goods.
As a result
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, the ocean could be cleaner when the number of cargo
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ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 decreased.
Secondly
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, Some
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strict
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strick
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strict
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 laws must be
implied
Verb problem
implemented
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 by the
Correct your spelling
government
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 to prevent
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste evacuation
of
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apply
show examples
the
Replace the word
industrial
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industry
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industrial
show examples
 areas. The
wastes
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 which are collected by the industry units should
be send
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be sent
show examples
 to recycling plants in order to purify or destroy
instead
Linking Words
 of releasing
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
water
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. In conclusion, there are many factors
such
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 as trading
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ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 and factories’
wastes
Use synonyms
 which
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 pollution,
however
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the government could solve
this
Linking Words
 issue by addressing some solutions.

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, include more specific examples and elaborate on solutions. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve clarity and coherence. For instance, avoid repetitive phrases and ensure each sentence adds new information.
task achievement
Improve grammar and spelling accuracy to make your essay easier to read and more professional. This includes fixing minor mistakes like 'toxid' (toxic) and 'abondand' (abound).
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which give structure to your argument.
task achievement
You have identified multiple causes of water pollution and proposed relevant solutions, which shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the problem or solution.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Toxic substances
  • Eutrophication
  • Algae blooms
  • Pathogens
  • Nutrients
  • Organic matter
  • Marine environments
  • Coastal ecosystems
  • Microplastics
  • Food chain
  • Hazardous chemicals
  • Mining activities
  • Industrial waste
  • Agricultural runoff
  • Sewage and wastewater
  • Oil spills
  • Plastic pollution
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