IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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States should allocate more funding to railway lines
instead
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 of building new highways.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because trains are environmentally friendly and benefit a great number of
people
Use synonyms
.
Due to
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 the increase in pollution these days
due to
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 CO2 emissions from private vehicles, it becomes important that the government should start investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public transport like
railways
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 way,
people
Use synonyms
 will start using them
instead
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 of personal vehicles for their daily commute.
As a result
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, the number of private cars or motorbikes will be reduced on highways, making the environment less polluted.
For instance
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, in a city like Bengaluru, the Government has started planning to build more railway lines to reduce the AQI level which is mostly above 200.
Apart from
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this
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,
railways
Use synonyms
also
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 benefit many
people
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 because it is cheap to travel. Most
people
Use synonyms
 do not own a car, and they cannot afford to use a cab for their everyday commute.
Railways
Use synonyms
 will be a great help for them going from one place to another.
For example
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, Mumbai has the longest intercity railway lines which cover most places, and every middle-class person uses it almost every day. In conclusion, I agree that the government should invest more in
railways
Use synonyms
 as it is not only good for
mother nature
Correct your spelling
Mother Nature
show examples
 but
also
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 benefits a larger population.

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and clear, but consider adding a counterargument in favor of roads to demonstrate a balanced view before reiterating your stance. This could further strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
To improve the flow of your essay, ensure that each paragraph is connected smoothly by using more transitional phrases. This will enhance readability and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and concise, effectively presenting your stance on the topic.
supported main points
You have provided relevant and specific examples that support your main points, making your arguments stronger.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay, reinforcing your position on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
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