Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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the fast-paced lifestyle, nowadays, there is a great tendency among
people
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to consume fast
food
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and manufactured drinks containing sugar, fat, and carbohydrates.
That is
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why, there are arguments about increasing the cost of these products, especially the ones with high
level
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levels

It seems that level may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of sugar, to persuade
people
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to eat more healthy
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. On the one hand, processed
food
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and drink have become more common among individuals, particularly young generations, which leads to crucial
health
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problems.
For instance
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, researchers have found that 20 per cent of depression in
the
Correct article usage
apply

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society is caused by consuming sugary products more than
the
Correct article usage
apply

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usual consumption.
Besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
due to
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the low
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices

It seems that price may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of sweet
food
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and drink which are sold in
restuarants
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restaurants

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and shops, they have become
people
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’s first choice when it comes to
eat
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eating

The verb eat may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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.
Therefore
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, as an efficient way to decrease the usage of sugary meals, companies have to produce and launch these products more expensive.
On the other hand
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, as long as
people
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do not understand
about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the disadvantages of consuming sweet meals more than usual,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising

The word rising doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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these products’ prices will not bring any benefits. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case, emphasising
on
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apply

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the importance of educating citizens to become aware of the effects of these foods on their
health
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and how to maintain their physical and mental
health
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, will be more effective. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increasing the amount of money which
people
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have to pay to eat manufactured
food
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and drink can have some advantages, it will not influence
iindividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals

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until they become knowledgeable about the impacts of sugary meals on their
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task response
Your essay addresses the task, but you could enhance it by providing a clearer stance. While you mention the pros and cons, clearly stating whether you agree or disagree would make your position more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. The essay would benefit from using more transitional phrases to ensure smooth progression between ideas.
task response
You have provided some supporting points, but adding more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments. This would make your main points more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a clear structure.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant points for discussion.
task response
Your language is clear, and the ideas you present are comprehensible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
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