IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways instead on train and tramp.To what extent do you agree?

Due to
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 the fast pace of life ,most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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families are dual-income and need better infrastructure to commute daily.So many individuals believe that it is important to have more finances to improve infrastructure
such
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 as building more roads and motorways,
instead
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 of spending money on public
transport
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.I totally disagree with
this
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 point of view and the following paragraphs will discuss it.
Firstly
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,in
this
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 present era, people prefer to live in big cities which leads to congestion in these areas.
Moreover
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, everyone has to use
transport
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 to reach their workplace,but only a few of them are able to afford their own vehicles .
For example
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,in India, almost 80 per cent of the population uses public
transport
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 to
travel
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 daily .
Secondly
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 ,if more individuals use their private cars ,there will be huge carbon emissions,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 the country will face worse air pollution.To overcome these issues the government need to promote trains and tram systems,so more people can
travel
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 at the same time with less fuel consumption
as well as
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 eco-friendly
transport
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.
On the other hand
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 ,building new roads and motorways means a better infrastructure of a state,and it indicates a strong economy of a nation.
Such
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 as by providing better ways to
travel
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 by road , attracts more tourists
Correct word choice
and
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in return promotes the economy of the country .
Moreover
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, people can
travel
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 fastly from one
city
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 to another which increases cultural norms between different areas and creates more opportunities for employment,but it can lead to congestion ,excessive environmental pollution and more fuel consumption.
For instance
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 ,
road
Correct article usage
the road
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 structure of the
city
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 Lahore in Pakistan has improved since the
last
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 decade,more
persons
Replace the word
people
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 are able to
travel
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 at the same time,
that is
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 a good development but
as a result
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 that
city
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 has become the world's most polluted
city
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 .
To conclude
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,
although
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 roads and motorways are important for the economy ,public
transport
Use synonyms
 is the basic facility that every citizen needs to tour.
However
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, improving a railway system that completely runs on steam is environmentally friendly .So working on a motorway has more drawbacks

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grammar
Ensure to avoid minor grammatical and punctuation mistakes. Better proofreading is recommended.
writing style
While the ideas are clear, some sentences can be made more concise and less repetitive to enhance readability.
argumentation
The essay presents a clear argument against the idea of prioritizing road infrastructure over public transport.
examples
The discussion points are creatively supported with relevant examples, particularly pointing out instances from countries like India and Pakistan.
structure
The essay has a logical structure, with a good introduction and conclusion, effectively leading the reader through your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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