in the futture, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statemet?

Because of advancements in
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
people
will
use
free
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
or online newspapers
instead
of printed
books
. From my perspective, I consider that it has more drawbacks than positive points. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will elaborate my reasons in detail. To start with, reading online has various proses, indeed we can
use
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
in every situation for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
in school, at home, at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
subway
Add an article
the subway
show examples
,
furthemore
Correct your spelling
it
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
so portable and easy to
acces
Correct your spelling
access
,
moreover
, it has not any
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
limit
when or where individuals can
use
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
people
can read them at night when family sleep without bothering others.
On the other hand
,
people
notice that using mobile or PC for reading can cause a problem issue for their eyesight and make them weak,
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
the information article in the website
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
if they are free mostly these data were
obseleted
Correct your spelling
obsolete
obsoleted
and outdated so we mistrust on them.
Besides
,
utilzing
Correct your spelling
utilizing
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to misconcentration for
people
because of timeless notification from other applications.
However
,
eldory
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
can not
use
online
books
and newspapers very well and
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
become a wide generation gap.
To sum up
, I still believe
people
should
use
paper
books
if it is affordable for them and
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
for my perception have been
further
explained in
this
essay.
Submitted by safehiana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each point is well-supported with specific examples or data. For instance, you briefly mention the pros of e-books but providing more detailed examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Revise and proofread your essay to correct spelling mistakes and ensure accuracy. For example, 'eventhough' should be 'even though', 'obseleted' should be 'obsolete', and 'utilzing' should be 'utilizing'.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Transition sentences could help to link your points more clearly. For example, 'On the other hand' could be used more effectively to contrast points.
coherence cohesion
Begin with a clear, concise introduction and ensure each paragraph has one main idea. Although your paragraphs are focused, they could be more clearly topic-driven.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of reading online versus printed materials. This shows a good approach to task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a sense of completeness.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are clear and understandable, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: