IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many governments think that econmic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasions for your answer and include my relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#governments #econmic #progress #people #type #country #reasions
Most governments believe that economic improvement is their essential purpose.
However
, some individuals consider that other kinds of growth are
similarly
 crucial for a country. In my opinion, it is better to pay attention to other cases to balance the situation. When a government only focuses on making progress in the economy, it can just manage limited parts of a country, even though each case like culture, the environment, sports, politics, agriculture and other items are connected to each one undoubtedly.
For example
, politics and having the right diplomacy affect the quality of connection between two countries and
also
 more than two nations. All fields need to have a definite road map which helps a government follow
this
 route. In my point of view, working on other parts gives many ideas to governors to search, consult, do try and fail to finish a practical good plan to done it. Eventually, each field gives its programs and makes it hormonous to do . In conclusion, Many governments claim that it is better to have one strategy just to develop their economy but it is not enough as a goal. I think doing other types of progress simultaneously with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 accurate plan can boost the tasks.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and that each idea is well-developed before moving on to the next one.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. This will make your argument more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. Some of your ideas are somewhat vague and need further development to enhance their clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main viewpoints of the topic, discussing both economic progress and other types of progress.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a well-rounded feel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: