In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In the beginning, without a doubt
that
all Correct word choice
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
people
are dreaming to have their won
Correct your spelling
own
home
instead
of renting for many reasons such
as psychological and economical
aspects which is not an easy thing to achieve Replace the word
economic
by
everyone. Change preposition
for
However
, the statement was always an area of debate and now has become more controversial. My opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
First of all, having own home
has to be considered as one of the most crucial part
of any individual's life goals. Change to a plural noun
parts
However
, analyzing and further
explaining of
the statement, Change preposition
apply
it
depends on many aspects Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as people
's mindsets, for instance
, not all of
Change preposition
apply
people
have the same way of thinking or personality to realize how much it is significantly important at some point of
age. Change preposition
in
In addition
, it depends on individual
Add an article
the individual
economy
state, the nature of their work, and how much they make Replace the word
economic
money
, cause
it requires a huge amount of Correct word choice
because
money
that might be saved over a period of time of
which not everyone could have the ability to Change preposition
apply
provied
it.
Correct your spelling
provide
Furthermore
, Another striking point to mention that is
having a private home
has a lot of positives, to cite an example, it provides an feelings
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a feeling
feelings
idependency
, a state of self Correct your spelling
independence
dependency
independency
stabalizing
, and Correct your spelling
stabilising
convenice
. Correct your spelling
convenience
Also
, it controbutes
to save Correct your spelling
contributes
money
in the future.
In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly support
my point of view. Change the verb form
strongly support
owing
a Verb problem
Owning
home
rather than renting has many advantages such
as giving positive feelings of independency
and a state of Replace the word
independence
self stabilizing
. Add a hyphen
self-stabilizing
Also
, saving money
in the future. However
, it will depend upon people
's mindsets and which of view they are in favour of.Submitted by rm0.almohsen on
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task achievement
You are doing well in providing a structured introduction and conclusion. Make sure your arguments are relevant and stay on topic throughout the essay. Try to articulate clearly why owning a home might be so important to people, by giving more concrete reasons or examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by using more cohesive devices, such as connectors and transitional phrases. Some parts feel disconnected or jump between ideas. Adding more structure will help make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a stronger logical structure that builds progressively. Spend more time on each of your points to elaborate with clear examples and reasons. This will help make your essay more persuasive and well-rounded.
organization
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
content
You touch on significant reasons why people might prefer owning a home, such as psychological and economic aspects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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