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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The provided diagram indicates the causes of
reducing
Replace the word
the reduction
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 in
land
Use synonyms
 used for agriculture,
whereas
Linking Words
, the table represents the effects of these reasons on different sections in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
deforestion
Correct your spelling
deforestation
,
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 and over-grazing were the serious problems with grazing
accounted
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accounting
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 for the most.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
grazing
Correct article usage
the grazing
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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, in Oceania, posed a major threat to agriculture,
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
in
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 contrast with the threatened level of
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
. Beginning with the pie chart representing
root
Correct article usage
the root
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 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degradation all around the world. It is evident that over-grazing had 35%, below
this
Linking Words
 level, damage caused by deforestation was more than
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
 at 30% and 28%. The remaining adverse factors accounted for a tiny fraction of 7% in total. Turning to the table, regarding North America,
ony
Correct your spelling
only
 0,7% of
land
Use synonyms
 was
degradated
Correct your spelling
degraded
 by deforestation,
while
Linking Words
, these numbers were 3,3% and 1,5% in
over-cultivation
Use synonyms
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 over-grazing, respectively. In Europe, 3 categories ranged from 5,5% to 9,8% of
land
Use synonyms
 which were 23% in total. Looking at the percentage of Ocenian with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 aggregate of 13%,
this
Linking Words
 data was contributed mostly by 11,3% of
land
Use synonyms
 from grazing and 1,7% from destroyed forest.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, over-cultivation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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