IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.
#information #journey #school #children #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons #report
The given bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the information about how British
students
commuting
Wrong verb form
commute
show examples
 to school.
Overall
, it can be seen that as the
distance
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
further
,
students
 tend to change from walking to commuting by bus.
Additionally
, none of the young learners choose to walk
as well as
 ride
the
Correct article usage
a
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 bike at
the
Correct article usage
a
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distance
 of over 5
miles
.
According to
 the clean vehicles where there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no
students
 participate
in
Change preposition
apply
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at over 5
miles
. As for walking,
while
 the 1-2
miles
 doubled the 2-5 one in student’s choices (exactly 60%), it is only
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
three quarter
Add a hyphen
three-quarter
show examples
 of the 0-1
miles
. Meanwhile,
biker
Fix the agreement mistake
bikers
show examples
 made up
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
merely 50% of
students
 at 0-1 and 2-5
miles
 which is nearly half of the 1-2 mile
distance
. Moving onto the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
remaining vehicles where there is a big
discreprancy
Correct your spelling
discrepancy
 in
students
 commuting by bus with the range of
apporxiamtely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 70% and more than 0% between 0-1 and over 5
miles
, respectively.
Furthermore
, 5 times more
students
 go by bus at 2-5
miles
, compared to 10% of the
students
 in 1-2
miles
. In terms of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, those who chose
this
 vehicle for 0-1
miles
 comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 10% which is a third of 2-5
miles
,
while
 there is a minor difference from 20-21% at the
distance
 of 1-2 and over 5
miles
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, distance, miles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼

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