IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntery work at the museum. write a letter to the museum director to apply for the volunteer work in your letter explain why ou want to do voluntary work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work

#museum #home #people #work #voluntery #director #volunteer #ou #skills #qualities
Dear Madam ,
i
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I
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 am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I
Add a missing verb
am interesting
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interesting
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interested
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for work
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in working
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Correct your spelling
at the
atvthe
Correct your spelling
at the
museum
 as a
voluntery
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voluntary
volunteer
 and my home
near
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is near
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from
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apply
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the
museum
, I
available
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am available
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 to
working
Wrong verb form
work
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without paid First of all, when I
still
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was still
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at
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in
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 senior high school I want work at the
museum
 because I like
learn
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learning
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 about ancient history, and
than
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then
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 I want filling spare time
while
i
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I
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waiting
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waiting for
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 new student registration at
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
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Indonesia
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indonesia
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Indonesia
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 for that I
available
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am available
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 for
helping
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help
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 keep at the
museum
Secondly
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Secondly,
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 I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 some experiences during I still senior high school, my teacher
believe
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believed
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 to me
for
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apply
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keep the library, and I have good
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communication
comunication
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communication
 and good time management, I
will given
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gave
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 nice distribution in the
museum
 and
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positive
positif
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positive
think
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thoughts
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 in our team
finally
, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be available next week
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on monday
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monday
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Monday
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 23
june
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June
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, because
this
 week I
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am buzy
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buzy
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buy
busy
for take
Wrong verb form
taking
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certificate
Correct article usage
a certificate
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 at school. I
wiil
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will
 come
at
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to
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 the
museum
 at 8 am. I hope you accepted to work
i
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in
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 a
museum
. Thank you so much for your time, I am Looking forward to hearing from you soon
your
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yours
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 sincerely,
purnomo
Correct your spelling
promo
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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Language Usage
Work on grammatical accuracy and punctuation to improve readability
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure the letter more clearly by separating different points into distinct paragraphs
Task Achievement
The letter clearly states the applicant's interest in volunteering and touches on relevant details such as their availability and skills
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of the letter is polite and appropriate for the context, though it could be more formal

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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