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Band 2.5

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised.Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #retirement #age #work
In modern society, there are more people
get
Correct pronoun usage
who get
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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retirement age, which impact is a highly debatable discussion point. From the writer's perspective, more amount of adults in social life will justify the country as an ideal living area, the drawbacks of
this
 situation are making the economy reduce
along with
 giving the tension to older offspring outweigh the advantages. When it comes to the raising of retirement years-old groups, the lack of flexibility of currency is known as a disadvantage.
That is
 to say, the more people get unemployment time, the more companies cannot meet
the
Change the word
their
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 needs in order to manufacture, and
this
 leads to the decline of the economic quality of a particular country.
For example
,
Japanese
Add an article
the Japanese
show examples
 currency is an obvious reason why they need to be traded with other countries because the rate of adults displays the first rank of
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coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity and structure of your essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to write a clear introduction that outlines your main arguments, as well as a conclusion that summarizes your essay and provides a final thought.
task achievement
Develop your main points comprehensively. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and made an effort to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • pension systems
  • financial pressure
  • economic growth
  • workforce
  • retirement savings
  • skills and knowledge transfer
  • job opportunities
  • health challenges
  • work-life balance
  • societal resistance
  • burnout
  • productivity
  • well-being
What to do next:
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