Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them
How to
Wrong verb form
deal
dealing
with Wrong verb form
deal
criminals
is always Correct article usage
a
the
worldwide Correct article usage
a
Replace the word
concern
concerning
and Replace the word
concern
Correct article usage
a considerable
considerable
issue for every country. And Correct article usage
a considerable
this
writer opines that tuition and vocational instruction is a superior solution of opposing to them
It is vital to understand that a lot of crimes through
poverty .Because of the fact that many Add a missing verb
are through
criminals
just only want to making
Change the verb
make
living
for their survival in food and money, so they have to do Correct article usage
a living
from
minor crimes Change preposition
apply
such
as shoplifting, Correct word choice
and pickpocking
pickpocking
,… to major crimes Correct your spelling
pickpocketing
such
as killed
people to earn enough money for their living. Wrong verb form
killing
Consequently
, many criminals
who were
used to be honest and generous people have to commit a crime just only for their deprivation of bread and butter and they can correct their past mistakes if we give them a chance to do it again . Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, this
is evident for educate
and coaching Replace the word
education
job
are better methods.
Another key component of the case that Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
educate
and job training Change the verb form
educates
criminals
can help them contribute for
society. It should be obvious that they can Change preposition
to
also
take advantage of being a human resource for society to do community service and pay taxes to the state. As a result
, the government will have more money for spending
on social welfare and these Change preposition
to spend
criminals
will easier to integrate into the community after release from prison. It must be also
noted that educating
and vocational instruction Replace the word
education
are
always better than sending them to prison.
In conclusion, it can be seen that anyone can make Change the verb form
is
mistake
in the past and Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a rights
Correct the article-noun agreement
a right
rights
of correcting
Change preposition
to correct
own
past Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
mistake
. Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
Therefore
, we should be more tolerant and forgive their mistake if possible.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, and you present a relevant position. However, the argument would be stronger with more specific examples and further development of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are organized in a logical manner, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Some paragraphs could benefit from more clarity and better transitions between ideas.
language use
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure to ensure that your ideas are clearly and accurately presented. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary for better precision.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion, which ties the argument together nicely.
logical structure
There is a logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the writer's line of thought.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.